Close to Home by John McPherson for December 30, 2020

The fun ends if you don’t catch it right and it goes down the wrong way.

Where do I get one

One miss with an expensive pill and you’ll be tearing that chair apart!

Be careful…a missed viagra would make the chair extend and throw you on the floor!

Free Heimlich Maneuver instructions in every box…

Score! Nothing but gums.

They need to get a grandkid in there to create some interference to make a game out of it.

Awesome. That would go great with my crossbow insulin kit. Sign me up!

JOHNNNNN-SON!!

Yes sir, you thundered, sir?

Johnson, is everyone ready to shoot our next scene… including the bug?

Yes sir, so it seems, sir! But the bug, er, Mr. Bleeb, looks a little… uneasy, sir!

I don’t care, get everyone on the set and let’s do this… Bleeb! Get in alien-bug character!

ꂦꀘꍏꌩ! ꌃ꒒ꏂꏂꌃ ꓄ꍏ꒒ꀘ ꒒ꀤꀘꏂ ꓄ꀍꀤꌚ ꈤꂦꅐ, (ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴏᴍᴘᴏᴜs ᴊᴀᴄᴋᴡᴀɢᴏɴ!)

Alrighty then! QUIET ON THE SET! … cue the alien bug… aaaaaaand ACTION!

Umm, sir, it appears Mr. Bleeb is about to…

SHHHHH! QUIET JOHNSON! Wait a min… he looks like he’s….WHOAAAAA! Did he just… just…

Um, yes sir… he did! And I think the term you’re searching for is “ralphed” sir!”

OH MY GOD! There’s bourbon and eggnog everywhere! Great, Johnson! Just great! I give up! I swear it is friggin Christmas Eve and Santa’s laundry all over again!

Yes sir. So it would seem, sir… so it would seem! Um, sir? What would you like me to do with the bug, er, Mr. Bleeb, sir?

I don’t care, Johnson! Just take him somewhere and let him sleep it off so we can finish these scenes… and tomorrow is New Year’s Eve… so don’t give him anymore bourbon eggnogs! That was one of your WORST ideas!

But, sir… that was your idea, sir!

Was it a “bad” idea, Johnson?

Yes sir!

Then it was your idea!

Yes sir, my apologies sir! I’ll tend to Mr. Bleeb, sir. (You pastrami-fueled waste of chromosomes)

What was that, Johnson?

Nothing sir, … I was just, er, transcending the situation, sir!

… Cont’d tomorrow.

Also no fun paying for the ones that fall on the floor and have to be thrown away.

How many points was that?

They need a calcium channel blocker to play goalie.

What happens to the ones that miss? I pity their poor dogs…although; I don’t see any in the panel. Maybe already happened?

How do you play this game with only one person.

Sheila loaded a small red Thai pepper and just smiled.

Pull-a -pult today, slingshots tomorrow!

What about the water needed to swallow the pill?

It comes with tongs to retrieve aspirated pills to return to play.

we can’t do that…until they figure out how to catapult Flovent

What’s a Cardizem CD?