Close to Home by John McPherson for August 05, 2020

Okay, 10 Mallet head steps and turn around and start swinging. If that doesn’t work then the bald dude with the pistol will take over.

If THAT doesn’t work then the little alien, Bleeb, will hammer it home.

I used to play croquet by my self. It was okay.

Bleeb looks cute with his own little mallet, about to mash the little ball into the woman’s pinky.

I use to play croquet all the time when I was younger with family. Now we have all gone our separate ways and so I don’t get to play anymore. I was pretty good too.

I was trying to figure out if this was a duel or a race. If it’s a race, that pistol makes sense, but standing back to back doesn’t. If it’s a duel, what’s with the gun? Is he supposed to shoot the loser?

So, who is the little dude on the right, at foot level with the mallet?

Don’t ever play Scrabble® with my relatives.

A croquet field is ideal if you are making a video of blindfolded people running!

I would’ve came strapped just in case

I misunderstood the invitation for chicken croquette.

Combat croquet…

In England they play croquet on perfectly mowed and smooth greens. Can be a rather complicated game if played seriously. Not in America.

Looks like the little guy is going to smash some toes.

I played a little croquet when I was a kid. I don’t think I ever completed a round and I never learned how to keep score. I value it right up there with badminton which is well below lawn darts.

“Gentlemen, the rules to Ultimate-Warrior-Combat-Skeet-Ninja-Croquet are simple. (1) when I say “GO”, do NOT take 10 steps, but just turn around and start wailin’ on each other with those mallets. (2) if you both survive that, then you line up over here for a game of dodgeball, but…you know…using the Croquet balls and whatever rocks you can find. (3) the winner of dodgeball tosses his ball straight up so I can shoot it out of the air. (4) while the winner of dodgeball is watching me shoot the ball, the loser gets to ninja-sneak right up behind him and give him a Dumb and Dummer whack across the back of the leg with his mallet. Ready! GO!”

Show them how it is done, Bleeb!

Bleeb is stymied by that woman’s shorts. Nothing to see here.

Sudden death overtime.

Well if you notice one player has a red ball the other a blue, which is correct in a singles match (two against two: blue-black vs. red-yellow). I think the joke has them take a certain number of paces turn and strike their respective color ball…where doesn’t matter…it’s a joke.

Those must be Jef Malletts. This cartoon left me feeling frazzled. b’dum tssshhhh Thanks, ladies and germs, I’ll be here all week…

I have seen intense croquet and rogue. I miss it. You cant find a croquet court anywhere.

On the news, I’ve seen some of these idiots pull out guns over face masks!

Hm, what a sticky wicket THIS is.

My granny taught me the “joys” of cutthroat croquet. Mom was a tough cookie too, when it came to games.