Tom Toles for May 22, 2020

Medical facts are still facts and therefore they should be quarantined! Right?

What the object to the right of the distancing arrow?

Will the “Republican” still party exist after the ☠resident departs?

Will the ☠resident’s supporters support the “Republican” party when he departs?

Who will the well-educated, very diverse, GenY and Gen-Z cohorts support?

Trump likes a CDC that only reports good news.

Oh, he’s viral, all right.

Boycott the CDC – {limerick}

The Donald is quite insistent

that expertise stay distant

from his own bailiwick’s

political tricks.

Of Hitler he’s quite reminiscent.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

We have a fascist authoritarian president who does not believe in science or reality and who won’t start a federal testing program as he tries to reopen a sick country.

Trump Gate = 100,000 dead and 15% unemployment due to the lack of a Federally coordinated testing program.

Never vote for a Republican if you value your life or country or manners or freedom or fairness or honesty. They have none of those traits.

“The Suffix Affix Tricks”

Why does Donald Trump strive so much to destroy?

Is he an ill-behaved, spoiled, petulant boy —

Or a plotting, corrupt, self-centered man

Out to rudely dismantle whatever he can

That stands in the way of his party’s dominance?

Well, he has a way to enhance its prominence!

.

“GOP” has no glitter, no personal touch.

Trump could rename it to improve it so much.

It is after all world-widely assumed to be

The Party of Trump — so why not a change to “DJT”?

But why stop there? With his name on tall towers,

It can be further applied to show his great powers!

.

Government agencies with their dull acronyms

Oft contradict his wise political mind whims.

Among those, the CDC, EPA, and FBI

Have withered under the glare of his evil eye.

He deeply suspects reports having any reliance

On their intelligence data or research science.

.

For his views are determined by deep gut feelings,

Not objective analyses or lab report dealings.

If he thinks an agency’s conclusion is false,

He will change it according to Executive impulse.

So the agencies should give in and decide that the fix

Is to give every acronym a capital “T” suffix.

.

So, the EPA-T, and CDC-T, and the FBI-T

Are henceforth how the official acronyms could be.

The DOD-T, DOJ-T, and DOT-T are pretty much there,

Which Trump thinks is for certain eminently fair.

And if he had his way, and Mitch McConnell allowed,

The USA-T would be how His country’s avowed.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Don’t make me tell you this again.

The genius, the one and only, the leader, the king, the supreme ruler……N O T ! BUT….. what he really is is a Blowhard baffoon who is morbidly OBESE and tracks shit in on his shoes!

CDCCDC: Completely Diseased Corrupt Criminal Destroying the Country.

{Off-topic:}

Trump Sets a Bad Example – {4 beats/line}

Maintain “social distance”: – Keep six feet apart,

with no coughing, no wheezing, not even a fart.

And wear a mask which is state of the art.-

- These are some rules which Trump dudn’t heed

‘cause the Covid’s virulence he dudn’t concede.

Thus doth The Donald quite bigly mislead.

… Coda: – {2 beats/phrase}

Trump is a lout // we can do without:

He uses his clout // common sense to flout.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

In Washington D.C., the president has ordered flags to be flown at half-mast to “honor” those who have perished from Covid-19. It would have been more appropriate to fly them at half-mast and upside down. And as Benjamin Franklin once remarked, after a gelded ox was referred to as a bull, “I’m sure the ox is grateful for the honor, but he’d much rather have back what was rightfully his.”

Love the subhead for this cartoon: “Adding an unneeded layer of idiocy.”

Our “Leader” is a “pair of ragged claws”/ who rends the nation’s fabric with such zeal/ the tortured tweets must give a sane man pause/ to watch him undermine the “right” and “real”/ ..to watch the count of corpses daily rise/ to wonder: “can this psychopath not feel ?”/ to wonder at each day’s barrage of lies/ to marvel at the monster’s strange “appeal”…/ a Mephistopeles in human guise../ our fearless leader… our “Lord of the Flies”.

The Center for Disease Control is early November…

Instead of “fingerprint wipes”, Trump should have simply called for his silver hand bowl – only used once by a minor Roman functionary in a middle eastern country – hardly any ‘tarnish’ at all.

“Why’s evr’body always pickin’ on me?” – Charlie Brown (he’s a clown, you know.)

Colbert had a partial list of “doctors” the White House is considering to toe the Li’l Donnie line: Dr. Doom, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Dr. Moreau, Dr. Frankenstein, Dr. Mengele, and Dr. Pepper. I’m surprised that he didn’t include Dr. Smith from “Lost in Space” (the original version). When Will or Penny would shake Dr. Smith’s shoulder to wake him up from his usual 23 hours-a-day nap, his first response was INVARIABLY “I’m innocent!” By which we can safely assume he was NOT. Wonder what “Dr.” Trump’s first response would be………

Trump can get all the testing and special medical attention he wants or needs, so how is there a problem? /s

The Mango Menace is indeed a menace to all of us. It is even more obviously critical that we

   VOTE THE BASTARD OUT IN NOVEMBER!!

too busy. like your quick trump caricature.