Tom Toles for February 27, 2020

Sound about right

What we really need is a nice targeted illness that attacks folks with the fewest doubts and the most anger and makes them reluctant to vote.

And lets hope no one starts talking about all the CDC cuts and firings you perpetrated prior to this outbreak scare.

The Bee’s Knees – [4 beats/line, then 3}

{in Wes’ Texis vernacular}

About this virus, y’awl jist relax.

Th’ prez hisSe’f knows all uv th’ facts

an’ ‘e’s fixin’ thangs up with ‘is genius acts, -

- so y’awl kin jist stand at ease

while ‘e thwarts this dadgum’ disease. …

… Idn’t [our] are prez th’ bee’s knees?

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

I have little doubt he will try this.

{Off-topic:} “Seth Meyers brutally mocks cable news pundits ‘freaking out’ over Bernie Sanders’ surge”: …www.alternet.org/2020/02/seth-meyers-brutally-mocks-cable-news-pundits-freaking-out-over-bernie-sanders-surge/- – - Click around on “Truthdig”to discover quite a few pieces that pundits err in pooh-poohing Bernie’s chances: I started at … https://www.truthdig.com/articles/seth-meyers-ridicules-cable-news-for-unhinged-sanders-coverage-video/

Trump isn’t worried. He’s probably had more secret phone calls with Putin than dinners with Melania. If Vlad doesn’t have backdoor access to our voting machines by now, then what good was having Russian computer experts review our government security codes for trade purposes.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-cyber-russia/tech-firms-let-russia-probe-software-widely-used-by-u-s-government-idUSKBN1FE1DT

I would NOT put it past this UN-AMERICAN, RUSSIAN OWNED AND OPERATED TRAITOR FOR A NANOSECOND!!!!

Imitation of “Unchained Melody”

(Apologies to Hy Zaret / Alex North)

.

“Unchained Mentally”

Oh, my Votes, my darlings,

I’ll have you in my clutch

By Autumn time.

Time ‘til then goes slowly,

Bad things can happen much —

Will the Country still be mine?

I need those votes, I want those votes,

Vlad, speed some extra votes to me!

.

Cheering MAGAs come to my rants, to my rants,

To my ralleys’ waving arms.

Loyal MAGAs, vote for me, vote for me,

My power will expand, you will see.

.

Oh, my loves, my Voters,

You’ve hungered for such power

A long, long time!

Time will come and you will be rewarded,

No fear before gun laws to cower!

Are you with me in line?

I crave your votes, give me your votes,

You must come to vote for me.

.

Expectantly, I gaze upon the land, on the land,

Waiting for the world to say,

He has it all in hand, gripping hand,

Democracy has been squeezed away.

Etc.

Toles seems to be reading the resident’s mind on this issue … an opportunity to prevent evil disloyal Democrats from voting against him.

There is hope, if we look for it.

trump loves crowds….crowds increase the risk of infection…trump catches the virus….coughs up a lung or two…and goes belly-up.

What better place to spread a virus, than an arena with 20 thousand screaming humans? (OK, a subway, but you’re not going to get the blob on the subway.)

Happy ending? (Not a Bob Kraft happy ending, of course.)

Pax et Bonum.

Sounds about the right time the virus will implode in America…..Voting day…..

Lock up all the public gathering places…except my rally venues.

I hear trump rallies are especially prone to the Corona virus.

I cannot imagine the elephant saying what it does in the first panel.

Don’t give him any ideas!!

President for life Trump can declare a national emergency and stop the election.

Trump put anti science Pence in charge of the Corona virus response so when it all goes wrong Trump can blame Pence and make Ivanka his VP.

Brace yourselves…Infrastructure Week is coming!

Why I can’t take anything Trump says seriously; too many adjectives, too many adjectives he makes up, too many repetitions of adjectives, and too many lies. It’s a 90% probability he’s telling a lie (whether deliberately or mistakenly, makes no difference).

And our leader has appointed Mike Pence has epidemic czar. Look out! Thoughts and prayers coming your way.

Sadly, that’s a plausible nightmare scenario. I’m sure Moscow Mitch would support it ‘for the public good’

[with insincere apologies to “The Arkansas Traveler”]

Now, once upon a time in old D.C.

A mad king sat upon his throne to pee

He fiddled with his phone, that he liked to use

To sent out tweets full of lies and abuse

Reigning was hard but the mad king didn’t care

As long as he got much more than his share

(And even at that, we can all agree

He spent all his time watching Fox TV)

A traveler was passing by just then

He stopped outside the mad king’s den of sin

He pounded on the door: “Are you okay?”

“I’m having my usual reigning day!”

“But what about all the laws you break

And how you never give, just take

And what about all those lies you tell?

It seems to me that you’re going to Hell!"

“Are you from Trump Force One? Give me a lift!

I cannot move, can neither stir nor shift!"

“I rather tend to doubt that your plane can fit

In your mad throne room where you sit and ****

I’ll be leaving now, but I promise you

I will check back in, in a month or two

Possibly by then you can shift and stir

If you can’t, no loss, you mangy cur!"

Mike Pence is SCARED of girls, so I’m pretty sure that he would be even more scared of ones that might have something CATCHING……

Dow DOWN ANOTHER 1200 today!!

What I posited yesterday.

The Repulsicans have been quite busy closing polling places for years. Th Supreme Kangaroo Court has said it’s Okee dokee. Since when does a dick-tater-ship need voters?

Tom Toles: Only your wit makes this all bearable.