Tom Toles for February 23, 2020

The Me Scouts

He has “Pervert” merit badges all over his a$$.

Honor? Srsly??

Do a Good Rant Daily

Learn how to tweet. Be Prepared.

Donald Bad-in-Power.

They’re Not Eagle Scouts – {limerick}

We’d better do without

this Trumpian type of scout, -

- who’d actually act out*

the oath they would spout.

{“Honor” the Trumpites would flout.}

…

… * Footnote:

- Re this line’s rhythm: my Muse recommends this line’s marching-band-snaredrummer’s lick, – in which this line’s first beat has a standard “triplet-then-halfbeat” {Dididit-da} [The whole line is “da Dididit-da Dah”]. … [Some rhyme-readers don’t “feel” what my snaredrumming-Muse feels beat-wise. I regret that my rhythm-patterns’ little “licks” make these readers uncomfortable.]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A trump Scout is Untrustworthy, Disloyal, Obstructing, Hateful, Rude, Unkind, Disobedient, Grouchy, Wasteful, Cowardly, Disgusting, and Loudmouthed!

{Off-topic:}

Yet They Don’t Object!! – {4 beats/line}

Trumpites have formed a political sect; -

- in obeisance to Donald they genuflect

and praise him e’en tho’ he’ll bigly neglect

their interests, their welfare, their good and their needs, -

- and he’ll ignore that Earth’s well-being recedes, -

- and Democracy soon he’ll bigly have wrecked.

Yet to all the above they don’t object!!

Their brains have some kind of dis-connect.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

{Off-topic:}

Horse-feathered Trumpites – {limerick}

So tightly to Trump are they tethered

that Trumpites are thickly horse-feathered, -

- f’rinstance proclaimin’

thet Trump idn’t maimin’

th’ earth {which makes it bad-weathered}.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

His “earned” badges were stolen from the other boys, while they were getting used and abused…what does he care??

The Boy Scouts sort of fits the resident’s model …

https://www.jurist.org/news/2020/02/boy-scouts-of-america-file-for-bankruptcy-amid-sex-abuse-scandal/

In Holland they’re called the Pathfinders. The old joke; they disbanded the Pathfinders. They found the path.

You forgot his badge for birtherism.

“ The Trump Youth”

Johnnie was busy making what seemed a long list,

And as this activity did for some time persist,

His parents were curious and tried to obtain

From Johnnie just what that list did contain.

.

“Oh, Dad and Mom, would you be proud of me to relay

That my great goal is to be president some day?”

They said, “That seems a worthwhile thing for you to aspire.

Just what brought about this momentous desire?”

.

“I’m making this list to get things straight.

Thus I used Donald Trump as a model to rate

The benefits that a man such as he would require

Once the office of president he would acquire.”

.

His parents become slightly, nay, very uneasy,

Their stomachs became Maalox-worthy queasy

At hearing their son strive to emulate Donald Trump.

Although they had voted for him, their hearts went kerplump.

.

“He was very rich before and is much richer still

Since he now has control of the government till.

He also has for his use a helicopter and jet

To fly him around wherever he wants to get.

.

“And the weapons he has at his constant disposal!

My toy army men and guns don’t compare at all.

And he controls the use — just think, Dad and Mom,

How cool it would be — of a nuclear bomb!”

.

Johnnie their young innocent son went on to portray

Various benefits which to their dismay

Were not what a parent is likely wanting to hear,

And especially as Johnnie went on to sneer,

.

“And I’d have the right to do whatsoever I feel,

Order flunkies around to do any crooked deal.

And a special benefit is that I’m not held to morals staid,

There isn’t a girl that would not want by me to be laid!”

.

[contInued in my next comment…]

(Continued, “The Trump Youth”)

.

… His parents were shocked as Johnnie went on to drool

As to how he would take revenge on certain kids at school.

Even to them, as Trump MAGAs, that was enough!

Intervention was needed, Love needed to get Tough.

.

They consulted a doctor, a child psychologist,

As Johnnie’s warped aspirations did grow and persist.

That doctor was stumped, so he reluctantly advised

That their poor Trump-possessed Johnnie be exorcized!

And remember, girls: KKK*

*Kaiser, Kinder, Kuche. What’d you think I meant? :-o

Merit badges are sold on a sliding price scale. The highest-priced one is “Loyalty to DFT.”

{Off-topic:}via Daily Kos: – “Trump has already ‘joked’ about defying 2020 election results. Here’s what could happen if he refuses to concede”: … https://www.alternet.org/2020/02/trump-has-already-joked-about-defying-2020-election-results-heres-what-could-happen-if-he-refuses-to-concede/

Demerit badges.

Once again, Tom Toles shoots and scores.

One needs a magnifying glass to see his hands…

You forgot the Treason badge

The Scout Oath I learned many, many years ago begins “On My Honor. . . .” That sort of lets Mr. Trump out from the get-go, doesn’t it?

I have known many boy scouts throughout my life. I have yet to meet one that was abused. Most unbiased observers belief the pedophiles and abusers make up a small part of a very large organization. Go after them.

Early in his administration Trump spoke before the Boy Scouts and mainly whined about how the press lied in reporting the size of the crowd at his inauguration. He was probably softening them up for this.

{Off-topic:}

Thanks for your Forbearance – {2 beats/phrase}

I hope you’re okay // with my too-many rhymes.

They’re an old dude’s way // to cope with these times.

… PS: – They’re easily bypassed if boring and/or irritating and/or and/or … .

. . . . . . . . .

{Off-topic:}

Governance Stumbles – {4-3-2 beats/line}

Policy-makers are mostly just mumbling

that they’ll fix the problems ‘bout which we’ve been grumbling.

Meanwhile, anxieties rise

that our ship-of-state will capsize

before they’ve succeeded

in doing what’s needed.

… Coda: – {4 beats/line, then 2}

Hear our tummies a-tumbling and rumbling

while policy-makers are stumbling and fumbling.

Watch things crumble

as politicians bumble.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Republicans have no redeeming values as they embody only the worst human traits.

“Bankrupt”? Well, Trump has RUPTured more than one bank.

Damn!!!! This must be the only time tRump has EVER told the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!