Tom Toles for October 31, 2019

No, that’s Putin you’re thinking about.

I don’t know about two black Bishops on the board, but all the other pieces are in place to take him out.

When is Rudy going to realize that a pawn is all he means to tiny?

Checkers might be above their intellectual capacities.

Cornered and Checkmated – {a rhyme}

Our nation’s story is being narrated

by sensible pundits who’ve speculated

that the would-be “king” would be cornered, checkmated,

and stymied by maneuvers that’ve eventuated

in his being impeached

to save our nation. – - -

- – - But Fox has preached

their giddy elation

with his playing the role of The Wizard of Oz.

“Give him applause, // ‘cause Trump is the cause

of the magnificent saga // of the magnificent M.A.G.A.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

{Off-topic:}

Oughta Do What They Oughta – {limerick-like}

The prez ignominiously is caught,

and Congress oughta do what it ought:

“Impeach,” we beseech, // “for so many a breach

of our system’s norms, // – and pass some reforms

so that never ag’in // will we bear such chagrin -

- lest America the farm will have bought.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

And there is Trumps problem in a nutshell. For whatever twisted reason the fool thinks that being elected president gives him the powers of a untouchable KING not the responsibilities of the ultimate public SERVANT.

Yeah, you’re king alright! KING of the garbage heap, king of rats, king of the swamp, king of thieves, Why you’re Fu€in King KONG!

rudy’s a good mate…

Methinks the king is in a bit of a tight spot. It remains to be seen how long the Republicans can blindly support this idiot.

{Off-topic:}

Trump Celebrates Hallowe’en – {rhyme}

He celebrates Hallowe’en

with his face in an angry mien,

with his mouth a-venting his spleen,

with fibs which number umpteen,

with a menacing demeanor.

No one looks meaner.

He’s the scariest we’ve ever seen.

. . . . . . . . . . .

“The King of Refuse! So bow down to him if you want! Bow to him! Bow to the King of Slime! The King of Filth! The King of Putrescence! Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!" (With apologies to THE PRINCESS BRIDE)

They are playing Chess, while trump has barely mastered “Chutes and Ladders!”

Sigh. Will this turn out any differently than “Russiagate”? Do Pelosi and her supporters even want it to?

As if either of those two could play chess. And there is no chess piece called a “jester.” Chess has strict rules. And we all know how Orange Blossom feels about rules of any kind.

I don’t think anyone at this point is supporting Trump. They are hanging on because they are just as guilty as he is, and “he made me do it” is not going to hold up in court. Their choices are to go down with the ship, and possibly do substantial jail time, or turn state’s evidence and hope to get off with a better deal.

With this ‘king’, it’s all rubber checks and imbalances…

That side note should be said in an Australian accent. “Tell him about checks, mate”

Rudy hasn’t opened his hand grenade mouth for a few days.

King of fools.

King of the nut jobs.

Rudy toot toot!

Let’s send ’em down the chute

(Or maybe to Beirut)

But first impound their loot

Leave ’em poor beyond dispute

Though I may seem a brute

Let’s also add Vlad Pute!

Republicans demanded an impeachment vote and open hearings, when they got the chance they voted against it in lockstep.

The Weasel looks more like a pig than a king.

Someone tell Rudy, Everything Trump touches dies. Get ready Rudy!

The hand grenade’s buttdial was nutty in itself. Rudy demanded his Russian henchman pay him hundreds of thousands to work for him. Where does henchman get money? Mother Russia of course.

Well, he’s unbalanced and his checks bounced.

Would have been a better ’toon if the pieces were in a legal arrangement.

You’d think there would be no more room under that bus

The last seven moves, he’s been denying that he’s in check and refusing to get off the board. Fake chess!