Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 20, 2019

… well, L&Ks can be like that…

…how rude…

…that wasn’t a tip…

…that was the whole iceberg…

…with carrots, etc. …

…oh, wait, that’s cabbage…

…it’s hard working at the Capitol Building nowadays…

…that’s how you tip illegals…

…

…why would Shoecabbage be put to such waste?…

…the best meetings have no people — just flip charts flipping each other off…

The oddest part is that her establishment doesn’t serve coleslaw.

Ashes to ashes..Coleslaw to coleslaw.

Uh oh! that’s a gas…

Restaurant critics can be so demonstrative.

Even poor service requires some form of remuneration.

Probably not coleslaw in an ashtray, though.

I’m sure the thought is deep and lovely, but it has no monetary value to the server.

But wait! Cream or vinaigrette dressing?

Oh. Never mind. I am told the market for used dressings has collapsed also.

I hope there are more generous rooms on your list.

It’s the dress and apron, Phil. Change into a nice pair of slacks and blazer. And get a haircut.

In Appletonian, “ashtray full of coleslaw” means a $3 bill and 2 wooden nickles.

*Appletonian is an unwritten language spoken by 3 elderly people and 1 uppity African Grey Parrot in Northeast Pope County, Arkansas.

~ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏ’ᴅᴇᴀᴅ sǫᴜɪʀʀᴇʟ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀʟᴡᴇɢ ~

Coles law, someone won’t eat the coleslaw.

The ashtray may be worth something …

in an antique store …!

Because she was new, the manager assigned her the table with “The Ministers Quartet”.

It was considered a rite of passage at that particular Dennys, to have to wait their table.

Afterward, she was accepted into the embrace of the wait staff, and even shared tips.

It was actually quite glorious, though the initial revulsion and despair of serving them still haunts every one of them.

She seems not the most charming of waitresses (or servers, if you find that more comfortingly PC). And I wonder that any eating establishment other than a few exclusive cigar bars would still have ashtrays. But coleslaw is coleslaw, and if I hadn’t eaten it all, I guess I might share mine. Not in lieu of a TIP, if one were earned, however….

She looks brain numb from years of servitude.

You don’t want to handle any of that filthy cash anyway, if you knew the truth about it you’d be washing your hands constantly.

I hope someone wiped the ashes out before putting the cole slaw in.

The i’s look like L’s. You probably should have used a different font, Miss T.