Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 14, 2019

There are several expletives I’d as soon not be burning in.

Honey, there is a bag burning on the front porch and it don’t smell like a bed of roses rising from it. GO STOMP THE $#IT OUT OF IT…

Toasting in Heck might not be so bad…

gol dern it!

dang! I missed fishnet Friday again

…1-5 can be so bitter…

…Biden keeping in touch with the little people…

…fingernail polish takes forever to dry…Deck of Cards- Tex Ritter…

…three is a crowd- John Ritter…

… Que Sera Sera- Doris Day…

… [$%^¥€] -Hand Christian Andersen…

…

Baltimore!

Yes. I may. It was explicitly stated in my contract.

And you may ask yourself

How do I work this?

And you may ask yourself

Where is that large automobile?

And you may tell yourself

This is not my beautiful house!

And you may tell yourself

This is not my beautiful Frog Applause!

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by, water flowing underground

Into the blue again after the money’s gone

Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

And five are eleven!

Here’s something you can count on … [expletives] make the world go ‘round … just think of the [alternatives] …!

There was a columnist many years ago who, on the occasion of Nixon’s resignation wondered right out loud in print, why no one used the headline: “Expletive Deleted.”

One word?

Three syllables?

Why are you revealing the answer, and what’s up with that period?

fingerprints are unique, and there is a belief that there is too much direct evidence against uniqueness

H-e—double toothpicks.

You just can’t count on anything anymore.

Jerry Falwell Jr.’s Bizarre Relationship With a Pool Boy …

I demand 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! None of this doubled 6 through 10 stuff. You will comply!

Resistance is futile. Resisters will burn in [the afterlife place of the damned].

The numbered fingers are actually a prompt for a really cool multiplication trick. I’ve taught it to 3rd graders for years. There’s Youtube videos. Really, it reduces frustration and expletives. Not sure what it is doing here…

Tophet. May you burn in Tophet.

May you burn in the insinuations.

…may you burn in Hawaii…

…may you burns and allen…

…may you Angelou…

…may you burn in a she shed…

…may you burn in hades…

…may you burn in passion for your work, your love, your lover…

Frog Applause has been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls’ porch since noon today. I hope they put some holes in the lid.

Long may you burn.

Long may you burn.

Although these tadpoles

Have turned

With your faithless heart wallowing

In the turn

Long may you burn.

Pondwater-Frogs Band; Long May You Burn

Oh, hell. This again? [Expletive deleted.]

I never use finger number 8, because I pretend to be polite.