Most people screw up the first wish, and use the second to cancel it. The third wish (if they are smart enough) is the one wish they should have made first.
With one wish, a person might hesitate a long time while trying to devise just the right choice, balanced against the fear that once made, no turning back. Having two or three doesn’t really change that, but it offers a sense that one has room to recover from a goof. Either way, there are no examples that have ever turned out well in life outside of fairy tales.
Jock was walking on his favorite beach in Queensland when he spotted some shiny metal sticking up out of the sand. On inspection, it turned out to be an old oil lamp. He picked it up and brushed it off, and in doing so he released the genie who’d been trapped inside.
“Hi, there”, said the genie. “I’m an ancient genie who’s been trapped for way too long in that tiny little lamp, and I want to thank you properly for freeing me. May I grant you a wish?”
“Um, isn’t that supposed to be three wishes?”, asked Jock.
“Come on, dude, don’t be greedy. I was just an apprentice genie in the first place. That’s how they trapped me so easily in this crummy little lamp. Smash the crap out it if you would, by the way. God, I hate that thing! Anyway, all I’ve got in me is one wish. What’ll it be?”
Jock paused a bit in thot. “Well”, he finally said, “I’ve always gotten on real well with me mate Bob. He’s my brother, y’know, but he up and took off for America nearly a decade ago and now he lives near Hollywood. Wanted to break into acting and all, but it hasn’t been going well and he can’t afford to fly back and visit. I myself am terrified of flying, so I guess what I’d like most is a big long highway from here in Brisbane up to Los Angeles so I can drive my Holden up there to surprise him.”
“Are you deaf, man? Didn’t you hear me say that I was only an apprentice genie? Do you know how much work a highway like that would be? It would be a challenge for the greatest genies of all time! Now get real and ask me for something reasonable.”
“Oh, OK. Sorry. Umm, how about if you can let me understand women?”
The original Genie was bound to whatever he was bound to, not always a bottle, and gave wishes as long as you had control of the item. There was no number. This was true of most wishing devices in the original stories. In some cases you only got one because to get the one, you had to release control of the magical being that granted the wish.
The three wishes came later (I think the 1800’s was the first time it was used) as a restriction to aid in the tension.
Caulfield’s queries are becoming less and less interesting. (Meaning: the writer is running out of interesting questions for him to ask. It may be time to give this character a rest for a while.)
Be nice if for once, Frazz’s response to Caulfield’s gleeful retelling of his latest escapade into disrupting Mrs. Olsen’s class was to say “Look kid, being a teacher is a pretty thankless job. She’s working her backside off, doing the best with what she’s been given, and you’re a complete ass to her on a daily basis. Try to knock off the being a brat thing at least for a couple of days, and give her a break.”
The punishment of the genie enslaved to the lamp/bottle/whatever is this: All it takes for the genie to be set free is for whoever holds the lamp to wish for the genie’s freedom. The genie has to watch as every single human fails to use the final wish for the genie’s freedom. In this manner he is to be forever imprisoned.
Mythical beings bearing swag are fascinating. Behold the genie, with not one, but three wishes. Very generous, and fertile framework for a lot of jokes. Compare him to the Leprechaun, who not only limits his swag to one item, but dictates what that one item is. Not that anyone is going to complain about a pot of gold, but a contrast is a contrast. I bet it’s because you have to capture the Leprechaun, whereas you free the Genie. Ransom vs. reward. Of course the Genie is going to be more gracious.
Then there’s the frog. Gotta capture him AND free him with a kiss, whereupon you’ve now got a committed relationship bestowed upon you without so much as a Tinder profile to go by. That’s risky for both parties. Although a lot of it depends on a solid marketing effort by the frog, so maybe you do have the fairy-tale equivalent of a profile. I wonder if that works both ways. I wonder if there are cursed princesses turned into toads, and that every time I’ve picked up a toad and had it pee in my hand, it was an amphibious swipe left. Now I’m feeling bad about myself. I wish I wouldn’t think so much.
Wait. Whoa.
Glad I didn’t get that wish. Writing is hard enough as it is.
RAGs over 4 years ago
Most people screw up the first wish, and use the second to cancel it. The third wish (if they are smart enough) is the one wish they should have made first.
batmanwithprep over 4 years ago
Always wish for inifinite wishes first. If that’s against the rules, wish that it wasn’t, and then wish for infinite wishes.
MS72 over 4 years ago
A story with just one chapter is too short.
some idiot from R'lyeh Premium Member over 4 years ago
Caufield has an interesting point, though – three is interesting in a way two and four are not, and the study of why is non-trivial.
sandpiper over 4 years ago
With one wish, a person might hesitate a long time while trying to devise just the right choice, balanced against the fear that once made, no turning back. Having two or three doesn’t really change that, but it offers a sense that one has room to recover from a goof. Either way, there are no examples that have ever turned out well in life outside of fairy tales.
jpayne4040 over 4 years ago
I can see how being nonexistent can make one insecure! (-:
JudyAz over 4 years ago
Be careful what you wish for…
https://americanliterature.com/author/w-w-jacobs/short-story/the-monkeys-paw
Richard S Russell Premium Member over 4 years ago
Jock was walking on his favorite beach in Queensland when he spotted some shiny metal sticking up out of the sand. On inspection, it turned out to be an old oil lamp. He picked it up and brushed it off, and in doing so he released the genie who’d been trapped inside.
“Hi, there”, said the genie. “I’m an ancient genie who’s been trapped for way too long in that tiny little lamp, and I want to thank you properly for freeing me. May I grant you a wish?”
“Um, isn’t that supposed to be three wishes?”, asked Jock.
“Come on, dude, don’t be greedy. I was just an apprentice genie in the first place. That’s how they trapped me so easily in this crummy little lamp. Smash the crap out it if you would, by the way. God, I hate that thing! Anyway, all I’ve got in me is one wish. What’ll it be?”
Jock paused a bit in thot. “Well”, he finally said, “I’ve always gotten on real well with me mate Bob. He’s my brother, y’know, but he up and took off for America nearly a decade ago and now he lives near Hollywood. Wanted to break into acting and all, but it hasn’t been going well and he can’t afford to fly back and visit. I myself am terrified of flying, so I guess what I’d like most is a big long highway from here in Brisbane up to Los Angeles so I can drive my Holden up there to surprise him.”
“Are you deaf, man? Didn’t you hear me say that I was only an apprentice genie? Do you know how much work a highway like that would be? It would be a challenge for the greatest genies of all time! Now get real and ask me for something reasonable.”
“Oh, OK. Sorry. Umm, how about if you can let me understand women?”
“So, would that be a 4-lane or 6-lane?”
DM2860 over 4 years ago
The original Genie was bound to whatever he was bound to, not always a bottle, and gave wishes as long as you had control of the item. There was no number. This was true of most wishing devices in the original stories. In some cases you only got one because to get the one, you had to release control of the magical being that granted the wish.
The three wishes came later (I think the 1800’s was the first time it was used) as a restriction to aid in the tension.
Oakwood13 over 4 years ago
So you can change the first ones when you find out they weren’t worth asking for.
Not the Smartest Man On the Planet -- Maybe Close Premium Member over 4 years ago
Caulfield’s queries are becoming less and less interesting. (Meaning: the writer is running out of interesting questions for him to ask. It may be time to give this character a rest for a while.)
Stephen Gilberg over 4 years ago
I vote ulterior motive. In earlier tradition, genies were malicious.
gammaguy over 4 years ago
I’ve always like Anthony Boucher’s Nellthu as a beautiful example of outsmarting a genie.
Ubermick over 4 years ago
Be nice if for once, Frazz’s response to Caulfield’s gleeful retelling of his latest escapade into disrupting Mrs. Olsen’s class was to say “Look kid, being a teacher is a pretty thankless job. She’s working her backside off, doing the best with what she’s been given, and you’re a complete ass to her on a daily basis. Try to knock off the being a brat thing at least for a couple of days, and give her a break.”
Not that this will ever happen.
Anthony Vant Leven II over 4 years ago
The genie existed. Until August 11, 2014.
Fido (aka Felix Rex) Premium Member over 4 years ago
Just wish that your genie looks like Barbara Eden (even if they didn’t let us see her navel).
Futabakun Premium Member over 4 years ago
The punishment of the genie enslaved to the lamp/bottle/whatever is this: All it takes for the genie to be set free is for whoever holds the lamp to wish for the genie’s freedom. The genie has to watch as every single human fails to use the final wish for the genie’s freedom. In this manner he is to be forever imprisoned.
Concretionist over 4 years ago
It only takes one: I wish to make the optimal wish for the world and me.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] over 4 years ago
Blog PostsFrazz16 hrs ·
Mythical beings bearing swag are fascinating. Behold the genie, with not one, but three wishes. Very generous, and fertile framework for a lot of jokes. Compare him to the Leprechaun, who not only limits his swag to one item, but dictates what that one item is. Not that anyone is going to complain about a pot of gold, but a contrast is a contrast. I bet it’s because you have to capture the Leprechaun, whereas you free the Genie. Ransom vs. reward. Of course the Genie is going to be more gracious.
Then there’s the frog. Gotta capture him AND free him with a kiss, whereupon you’ve now got a committed relationship bestowed upon you without so much as a Tinder profile to go by. That’s risky for both parties. Although a lot of it depends on a solid marketing effort by the frog, so maybe you do have the fairy-tale equivalent of a profile. I wonder if that works both ways. I wonder if there are cursed princesses turned into toads, and that every time I’ve picked up a toad and had it pee in my hand, it was an amphibious swipe left. Now I’m feeling bad about myself. I wish I wouldn’t think so much.
Wait. Whoa.
Glad I didn’t get that wish. Writing is hard enough as it is.