Frazz by Jef Mallett for April 06, 2019

If you give up Fig Newtons, the terrorists win.

Ditto on the newtons.

Fig Newmans are even better

I’m with Frazz and I don’t even run.

I’m guessing that it would take more than letting go of fig newtons for this stick guy to shave 30 seconds off his 5K time.

A doctor told me that I have to give up ice cream because she found the beginnings of Barrett’s esophagus. I told her that that’s not happening. She said “Then have your dessert at lunch time.”

Like I always say at work, “The HECK with Radiation Safety – I WANT Superpowers!”

Maybe Frazz wouldn’t lose the half-minute if he wasn’t eating them during the race.

The answer is simple, start doing 3 Ks, and look at how much your time has improved. You can have your newton and eat it too.

I was bitten by a radioactive platypus, but the only power it gave me was the ability to lay leathery eggs.

Frazz 15 hrs · 4/6/2019

Superman’s origin story was always out of reach. Even the youngest of kids already missed their chance to be orphaned and sent here from a dying planet. Batman’s was just too hard. Rich and angry as he was, he still had to put in a ton of training for a lot of years, and it was all a serious comics fan could do to survive the wrestling unit of junior high gym class. Spider-man changed everything. Anyone, it seemed, had a legitimate shot at that. Spiders were everywhere, and it didn’t seem so out of the question that one of them would be properly radioactive.

But it turned out that Batman had the better idea. A strong work ethic enhanced by personal issues bordering on mental illness, plus, okay, Kryptonian-level genetic fortune, seems to work for the very best athletes. Plus, even they get their butts kicked often enough and hard enough that, if they were up against other supervillains instead of other athletes, they’d have a short career indeed.

And so we give up on ever becoming superheroes OR elite athletes and settle for watching them in arenas and in theaters an on TV screens. While munching fig newtons.

The update that it was a genetically engineered spider that got out made more sense. As far as it goes than radioactive. The important part was how Peter Parker lived like a normal person with problems plus the problems added by his new powers. That was ground breaking.

Frazz is already a superhero!