Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 27, 2022

Things like this make me glad I don’t drink coffee.

I thought they were a soulless corporation

Punish him by giving him decaf.

Yes it a vicious circle!

I don’t like the smell of coffee, so I’ve never drunk it. I have had coffee-flavored chocolates and didn’t like them. Fortunately, there’s caffeine in Diet Coke.

vicious cycle…i recommend a good map!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWnCjKoaY14&ab_channel=JamesAnderson

Skip the coffee – fall asleep at work – get fired – sleep all you want – now you have no need for coffee.

Viola, you’ve got your soul back.

Fred sounds like he needs to quiet quit.

Apparently Charlie is so tired his mouth disappeared.

You get to the point where you don’t even feel awake from it anymore, you just feel headaches and fatigue from not having it. It’s the last socially acceptable drug addiction.

I used to be able to drink 5 or 6 cups of coffee a day, now if I drink more than 1 I’m headed to spaced out non functioning, horrible gray mind nothingness!

But I still love the taste of coffee!

You have another problem in that you’re drinking a Starbucks concoction instead of coffee.

Hair of the mermaid that bit you?

Here the line for “Dunkin Donuts” is so long the cars have a lane of the street blocked off in the morning, so it’s not only Starbucks!

Ahh, so that’s why they give free coffee here at work, to take whatever soul they didn’t get from their stupid personnel, ‘leadership’, and HR soul sucking decisions.

I found my family tree by meeting some distant relatives online.

There’s lots of Folgers and Starbucks names in there. I thought I must come from “coffee people” (ironic, since I don’t drink it)

but some distant cousin told me that the Melville character Starbuck Was inspired by one of my ancestors.

and the coffee outlet was in turn inspired by the novel.

Back before them, our Scottish ancestor came to the colonies before it was the USA, and had a descendent named Ben Franklin. I imagine the population was small enough back then that if one has ancestry dating back there, we’re probably all related!

Give us this day our daily Pumpkin Spice Latte.

I’m a plebeian, I get my coffee from WaWa or McD’s

Not a fan of coffee. Starbucks has no effect on me.

Don’t drink coffee, so my soul is safe (I think)

I make my own for a whole lot less and it is REAL coffee too, not milkshakes.

And we tea drinkers just laugh…

souls come in short, tall and grande

I don’t drink coffee, but now I can’t get " Sixteen tons" out of my head…

“You load 16 tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in debt.

St. Peter, don’t you call me ‘cause I can’t go.

I owe my soul to the company store”. (⁠+⁠_⁠+⁠)

Caffeine tablets are cheap and you don’t have to compromise your taste buds.

And that’s why I don’t drink coffee.

I buy Sumatra Estate whole bean coffee from BJs for about 25 bucks for a two and a half pound bag. I grind and brew it through a Melita filter one cup at a time. Takes me far less than 2 minutes to prepare it and each cup is always freshly brewed.

You could just make your own coffee for considerably less than 4 bucks a cup.

People are so hooked and in this economy, they need to make their own coffee at home and pack their lunch…or stop whining at the expense

My favorite mug says it all, “Give me the coffee and no one gets hurt.” But I make it myself, at home, so I don’t bother anyone. I was gifted another mug recently that I like very much, which reads, “How do I take my coffee? Seriously. Very seriously.”

And that is why I don’t drink coffee at all. Of course, if you want to start talking Mountain Dew …..

But Rat – Starbucks® has nothing to do with coffee…………….

Just buy a Moka and do your own coffee yourself.

How do they drink coffee without mouths?

I think coffee’s effects are over rated. Not that the caffeine can keep you awake but the fact that caffeine dehydrates you. My only vice in life is drinking coffee multiple cups a day (for years) and there is now proof that the body does adjust and doesn’t lose as much water as previously.

Plan for day: Wake up, drink coffee, start work, drink more coffee, finish work, drink more coffee, go to bed. Repeat per omnia saecula saeculorum.

One more reason why I will never drink coffee or other caffeinated drinks.

Can I backcharge them for my adrenal fatigue?

I drink a pot of Yuban every morning, never has a burned flavor.

I never like the taste of coffee, so I don’t drink it.

Starbucks? My only experience with them was once stuck at an airport I went up to the “whatevertheycalltheperson” and asked for coffee. The “whatevertheycalltheperson” looked at me like I had two heads.

I never understood why anyone would pay a ridiculous price for a cup of coffee, other than to say “Look at me…I went to Starbucks”. Actually they are saying, “look at me, I’m an idiot for paying way to much for mud”. I never go to McDonald’s for anything else, but their coffee is the best I have ever tasted, and very reasonable. It puts starbucks to shame.

I’ve only been to Starbucks four times in my 34 and half years of my life. They’re overrated, and overpriced

The comedian Jackie Mason unfortunately tilted rightward the older he got,But he had a routine about Starbucks coffee that would have you splitting your sides.

Keep watching the comics,when Sally Forth delivers her annual ultimate judgment of Pumpkin Spice Coffee.

Coffee is good for you. Especially is you are an alcoholic. It cleans your liver!

Hard to drink coffee when you don’t have a mouth.

But it will only last a few days at most. Eventually you’ll have a morning where you can sleep in and get back to normal. Hopefully once you’ve reset your sleep cycle you will have learned your lesson.

Starbucks doesn’t own my soul, because I never acquired a taste for coffee, and their cocoa tastes like chalk!

Like the song says, “It’s always your favorite sIn that will do you in”.

Death Wish coffee – double the caffeine than what is in Starbucks. 12 oz of DW has about 700 mg of caffeine and it is not bitter. My go to day to day coffee is either Mickey D’s, Dunkies, or my local QT gas station. All are a heck of a lot cheaper than SB.

Been drinking it since I was 6. It stunted my growth. My parents were 6’7"

I am reading while I drink a coffee!

That and conning folks into thinking their good coffee an inexpensive prices.

The opening remark above reminds me of Rocky & Bullwinkle’s alma mater, Wassamatta U.

—Also known as the Vicious Circle.

Starbucks has turned good old 5 cents-a-cup coffee into a high-end luxury item…

Carry on.

It’s not just them, you know.

Fortunately there are a zillion other options for coffee besides Starsucks

LMAO! But you should have ran that on September 29th! That’s National Coffee Day