Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for December 21, 2023

Where’s Crankshaft?

Let’s face it, Sunday will be a huge single frame of characters at Montoni’s. No matter how powerful the blizzard, how rancid the pizzas or how present Les Moore is, they’ll be smiling.

“They’re here already! You’re next! You’re next, you’re NEXT!” —quote from “Invasion of the Funky Snatchers” 1956

I think this is nice.

Mopey and Mindy are eating the pizza? Quick, stop the news van, there’s still time to report live on two horrific deaths from food poisoning! This is no time to live up to that “I Missed It News” title!

It’s lovely to see Crankshaft’s granddaughter all grown up and starting up a business.

And that sure was great of Mopey Pete to give us some ham-handed exposition in Panel Two and fill readers in on Max and Hannah’s career paths.

Also, Montoni’s is in Westview. The Valentine is in Centerville, quite a few miles away. How many Valentine patrons will schlep that distance for comped greasy mozzarella sticks?

Wow, I love exposition dumps!! A failed pizza shop can only be helped by a failed theater that only shows 2 movies!! (They’re not making pizza or showing movies! As Big Freddy says, “This money ain’t gonna launder itself!”)

If Max and Hannah are giving out a free appetizer coupon to every customer at the Valentine, Montoni’s might be on the hook for a dozen appetizers by now.

Where’d the pizza come from? Did they make it? As far as I can tell they haven’t hired anybody so they have no cooks.

What a great idea! I think I will hand out coupons for a free appetizer at a local pizza place to everybody I meet. Of course, the pizza place owner won’t know anything about it. They’ll just have to deal with all the coupons that come in.

Quite a foursome.

What’s the appetizer? Is it a new sleeve for the stomach pump nozzle?

Don’t be giving out too many coupons, or the restaurant will go bankrupt before it opens.

They put up all the Christmas Decorations, 3 more days to Christmas, and they still are not open??

As Homer Simpson would say, Booring!

This sucks. Batiuk has absolutely ruined Crankshaft. I’ve enjoyed 1 Montoni’s free week in like 2 months. I’m not willing to hate read this Funky Winkerbean garbage anymore in the hopes I get a Crankshaft for my patience. I’m out.

Can we get back to the rumballs?

…..oh……such gratitude!!!!!

that is cool

I remember reading the first CRANKSHAFT strips and enjoying them immensely. He’s a great character, much better than his bus driver inspiration!

I’m never going to get past the similarity between Hannah and Mindy. It’s a little creepy.

what did they make the coupons with a brother p touch ?

Where’s the Pizza Box Monster? He’s part owner!

So I assume they had that pizza delivered from a competitor? Since they have no workers and don’t know how to cook or run a restaurant. Good thing they spent all that time decorating the place for absolutely nobody, since they’re not open yet. And giving out coupons to a place that is not open, and does not even have an opening date set (based on P3) seems pointless. Most will just chuck that coupon in the trash.

Channel 1 must be the lamest news broadcast in the country. “Our top story, an interview with a couple that bought a pizzeria that went out of business a year ago. This restaurant will reopen some time in the future. Stay tuned for this exciting story!”

That’s so nice of Hannah and Max to help out his sister.

Fitting that the news van looks like an ambulance given the story being covered, though a hearse would probably be even more apropos.

Hmmm, yeah, and just who is paying for all these coupons?

I hope Pete and Mindy know about the coupons the twins are handing out.

I have been reading this strip for a very short while and have noticed one thing. The comments are mostly from people who are exactly like Crankshaft. I’m not sure if they know it, but it’s pretty funny.