Free Range by Bill Whitehead for December 12, 2022

Orchestra “pitfall”.

Don’t hit it soo hard next time.

Was the 1812 Overture on the program??!!

Well, that’s how I would like to see a classical music concert begin (and end) …

I heard about a group of protesters that glued themselves to the conductor’s stand only to be wheeled off stage as it was movable.

That’ll be the last time we arrange a Heavy Metal song for the orchestra.

That was at least one tap too many

awesome! :D

Reminded me of those hilarious ‘margin’ cartoons in Mad Magazine!

Now that you’ve arrived in the pit with the orchestra, we can begin. The acoustics may be a bit different.

That certainly didn’t end on a high note.

The Prime Minister Amphibulos Memorial Concert Hall of Gaillardia. Built by AMphibulos’ brother in law.

I pride myself on being able to translate printed sound representations. But SKEEEEK BONK?

They got Peter Schickele’s stand. (see P.D.Q Bach.)

What? No applause??

Not only was the orchestra off tune, all his notes fell flat and landed him a trip to the bowels of the opera house below…

The vulgar language he used when he emerged from the hole was enough to get him fired from the orchestra. The reason was ‘conductor unbecoming’.

The conductor stamps his foot for attention, and from the basement he conducts the overture.

Termites?

Well that performance definitely crashed.

Argh. Modern music. Who needs it?

That piece was written by one of the great decomposers. . . . .

He tried to tap into how that piece should go but, alas, his efforts crashed.

Now that’s an unfinished symphony.