Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for June 08, 2022

You know the ol’ saying “ Lefties have Rights too…”

Thanks to a very healthy lifestyle, a married couple live well into their 100sOne day they are both killed in a tragic accident, and go to heaven.

On the first morning, they go up to God and ask where the gym is. “Gym?” God replies, “you don’t need to go to the gym here, you’ll always be in perfect shape even if you never exercise.” The wife says how nice that is, but the husband looks a little bit annoyed.

In the afternoon, they go back to God and ask where they can get high SPF factor sunscreen. “This is heaven, you don’t need it anymore, the sun can’t burn you or give you cancer, enjoy the beaches.” The wife is satisfied, but the husband starts looking genuinely angry.

Later in the evening, they go to God and ask where they can find a health food restaurant for dinner. “We don’t have health food restaurants, you can eat as much as you want of whatever you want and never feel bloated or gain any weight.”

Finally the husband snaps, and yells at his wife “You see? You see? If it wasn’t for your bloody bran muffins, I could’ve been here forty years ago!”

Until next time.

We get Wike Meir.

One time I saw four whales.

May the Lord be with you.

I find it unbelievable that all the mulberry silkworms aren’t found in the wild; there’s bound to be some around somewhere.

There’s alot of lefty golfers, they’re just not good enough to win.

And Mike’s accomplishment was further respected due to the right-handed balls he had to use.

Take care, may obscure silk road mapper Wang “This Is Rewarding For Many Reasons Not The Least Of Which Is The Many Beatings I receive In My Efforts To Get A Bite To Eat Or A Drink Of F*&%#$G! Water Now And Then For God’s Sake What Is Wrong With People I’m Just Trying To Do Something For Future Generations” Wongord be with you, and gesundheit.

I wish the mulberry silkworms would eat the berries so the birds wouldn’t have access to them and dropping “purple bombs” on my sidewalk and cars!

I used to work for a lefty that golfed “backwards” like Phil Nicholson. Even though he was left handed, he golfed right handed, the opposite of Mr. Nicholson.

DICK TRACY—1969.Murderer named Hy Jacky.Caught becausehe was a left-handed golfer whose unique grip on his clubs gave h im away.

Kamala “Cackles” Harris is currently working on an Emancipation Proclamation for Mulberry Silkworms and plans to finish as soon as her new box of crayons, delayed by supply chain issues caused by global warming, Putin and Ronald Reagan, reaches her at her home in Canada. Believe it or NOT!

Left-handed people are smarter, handsomer, and richer than righties. The fact that I’m one has no bearing on my unbiased opinion

I can picture Mike addressing the ball…“HELLO, BALL!” (Apologies to Ed Norton!"

Best song about whales? “Ode to Big Blue” by Gordon Lightfoot!

But Weir is not the last lefty to win at the Masters and doesn’t have the most lefty wins there. Phil Michelson won in ’04, ’06, and ’10. Bubba Watson won in ’12 and ’14.

We didn’t put those silkworms in our mulberry trees. Dunno how they got there, but we sprayed them to get rid of them.

How can a golfer play left-handed? They use two hands don’t they???

If I were a wild animal, and humans were all “come here, we’ll feed and house you forever away from all the predators as long as you keep spinning your silk” I think I’d take that deal.

So why does the picture of Mike Weir show him swinging right?

I doubt cats could survive in the wild now

Article with photos showing the majesty and magnitude of Hin Sam Wan (The Three Whale Rock):

https://amazingsearth.blogspot.com/2021/01/hin-sam-wan-three-whale-rock-phu-sing.html

Where do the left handed golfers go? I’m guessing a lot of spouses from jokes on this very site who question their hubbies or wives about the post-mortem use of their golf clubs go ballistic when they actually see the lefty who couldn’t use the clubs, and then reduce the number of lefties that remain. Or perhaps the lefties convert under pressure.

Its not too late for another joke is it? This is another Heavenly joke.

On their way to the church to get married, a Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter. While waiting, they wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St Peter said "I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out. After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes, I can get you married in Heaven”.

“Great!” said the couple. “But we were just wondering: What if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”

“You must be bloody joking” says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.

“OH, COME ON!” St. Peter shouted. “It took me three months to find a priest up here…..Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”

Until next time.