Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 01, 2021

I’d sowwy, I cab’t dalk do you wight now; thewe’s a fish biding be ob by dose!

…she had ghost feelings in her heart…

…that person was long ago cut out of her life…

…but the anguish and pain was still there…

…though it was not linear…

…she was stuck back when they were Starsky and Hutch…

…carreer opportunities are the ones you never want…

…she left for everything she ever dreamed of…

…the older but better dream of happily ever after…

…everything she had ever wished for…

…or serviced herself with…

…not the Odd Lots special she settled for…

…sometimes it is better not to meet your heros…

…see the man behind the curtain…

…the needle poke that is your addiction…

…Plastic man instead of Superman or Bats…

…a power surge had popped the breaker…

…the wind blew through her hair…

…opposites attrack…

…so much in common…

…th a t they subtracted away until they added too much to stay…

The fish who will bite your nose is the fish who will bite your toes. Beware!

Drawn and quartered to the arena of Fish on Barney Miller.

Book em… Or unload the magazine on them.

Eskimos butterfly kisses or sugar spoon.

Religion bites.

Call on legal fish scales by the Office Managers or Secretaries.

Part 2 is a lot calmer and more organized, thank goodness.

The Clarification staff says, The Moral Of The Story Is; Post Time at the races is in black and white, and sunfish all around.

The second set of books were a bit slippery.

I have always believed that there was something fishy about nosey clerics. It’s hard to get rid of the stench of piety and the stains of self-righteousness.

Burning sage does little to alleviate the lingering odor of incensed incense.

Does she possess the fish or does the fish possess her?

Booger bait …!

On the Eighteenth Day of Frogsmas, the Resplendent Cartoonist gave to me . . .

Eighteen Haters Hating,

Seventeen Vlads-A-Pounding, Sixteen Romper-Chomper Thingamabobs,

Fifteen Twits-A-Twirling, Fourteen Captains Spacing, Thirteen Pickles Peeking,

Twelve Squiggly Green Jello Cups, Eleven Headless Music Box Dancers,

Ten Teresas leaping, Nine Annoying Relatives, Eight Cheesy Bread Winning,

Seven Yams With Sprinkles, Six McMuffin Alignments

. . . Five Golden Tater Tots! . . .

Four Squirrel Jerky, Three Mocking Frogs, Two Mince Pies,

And a Spork Hanging From a Pear Tree.

She’s not very quoi about it! She went for a mani-pedi today and found fish nipping at her toes! One jumped up and bit her on the nose!

True story! Until the state board shut them down, some salons were using fish in their pedi tubs….EW EW EW

Is this one of those classic FrogApplausisms? Give a fish a human and it’ll eat for a day, teach a carp to koi and it’ll eat for a lifetime.

Seems fishy to me.

Well, of course! What else might it be? I guess we’ll just have to wait for these clerks to make good on their implicit Reveal.

How lame is that? I mean, it’s not even Friday!

You’re not Jack Frost!

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