The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for September 27, 2021

Shame on you, Brutus, you know that will never happen.

Did he do that on purpose? Or is that just his luck again?

Brutus, That’s not what you want. Your health won’t be able to take it.

Mother Gargoyle getting “good” soon?? When pigs, with lipstick, fly!!

/SHMIRK/

That’s good. It don’t says “Condolence”

Well Brutus didn’t do so well in English now did he.

I kind of doubt if Mother Gargle will ever get any better than she already is.

He put back the one that said, “Eat **** and die!”

giggles For the shame of it, Brutus. You know that Mama Gargoyle…er…Gargle will NEVER get “good” soon. She’ll always be a “witch” with a “b”. ;D

My wife was living in Washington state before we got married. I sent her a homemade card, (Living in CA at the time, trying to compare her to the features of that state. (Poem is in my reply if any are interested.) Her roommate at the time told her, “You don’t want to marry him, he’s a perv.” Both my wife and I are glad she didn’t listen to her roommate.

Well that’s what will happen when the greeting card company outsources its production to a foreign country that doesn’t have that great a command in Inglish language.

It can’t get any gooder than this!

I want one. Or at least one that says “Get Swell Soon”

OMG! Good one! Made me laugh out loud!

it, uh… could be a typo. :D …….. or him being a smart-aleck.

When Johnny B. Goode orders an Uber. ♪ Go, Johnny, go! ♪

At least he did not go to the used card store and buy a card already given to someone else.

In Mother Gargle’s case, anything would be an improvement, since she’s basically an evil person.

Looking forward to your approaching normalcy.

The wishful wishes, eh?

he should’ve got something gooder…

It’s what Paul Harvey called the “dumbing down of America”. People don’t care how they slaughter the language. The merchants in their ads are among the worst.

No, it expressly states what he wants. Sometimes you just find that perfect card……

I can think of someone I’d like to give a card like that to. But, like Moma Gargle, there’s little chance of goodness ever breaking out, anytime soon.

From “The Big Bang Theory”:

Bernadette Rostenkowski : Can I get your opinion on something that happened at work today?

Amy Farrah Fowler : Of course.

Penny : Sure.

Bernadette Rostenkowski : Okay, well, I did something that will either make me look like a lovable goof, or a horrible monster, damned to spend eternity in hell.

Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, I’m sure it’s lovable.

Penny : I’m gonna’ go with monster. What do ya’ got?

Bernadette Rostenkowski : Well, there’s this lady in our office who’s retiring, and they were passing around one of those big cards for us to sign, but no one told me she was in a horrible car accident over the weekend, and what I was signing was not a retirement card, but was actually a get well card.

Penny : [laughing] I’m liking my odds here.

Bernadette Rostenkowski : So on the card, in the hospital, next to the woman who’s clinging to life, are the words “Hey Vivian, you deserve this. And at least with you gone, no one will steal my yogurt out of the fridge. LOL, smiley. P.S., Good luck, wherever you wind up.”

Penny : Why didn’t I put money on this?

Bernadette Rostenkowski : Does this make me a horrible person?

Amy Farrah Fowler : No, of course not. It was an accident.

Bernadette Rostenkowski : What about that I wish she would die before she read the card?

Amy Farrah Fowler : Okay, now you’re straddling the line.

Must have been printed in China.

It came from the Cards from New Immigrants Card Co…

She lucky that the word “Well” wasn’t crossed out and the word “Good” added in pencil!

Tell he Brutus you got it at a first hand Dollar Store.

I’d look for the Moonpig (or similar) logo – but then now it is pretty easy to get custom cards printed

They don’t even mean the same thing. Superman does good. We do well.

That would work! She may not like it but it is true.

In my family we will use any kind of card for any occasion. My adult child gave me a Mother’s Day card for Mother’s Day and I was suspicious. It normally is something like a “Happy Birthday to a 2 Year old” or “condolences.” We have a lot of fun with it and end up with more to spend on the actual gifts! I confess I started it due to a lack of the correct card, but it took off like wildfire.

Oops!