Tonight I continue my theme of Absolutely True Stories…
An onion, a rutabaga and a carrot are out for a drive when they get into a bad accident. The onion and the rutabaga aren’t seriously injured, but the carrot seems to be in bad shape. 911 is called; the carrot is rushed to the ER. Hours go by as the onion and rutabaga sit nervously in the waiting room.
Finally, the surgeon comes out. “Well, I have good news and bad news,” he begins. “Your friend is still alive; that’s the good news.”
“And the bad news?” the rutabaga asks.
“I’m afraid he’s going to be a vegetable the rest of his life.”
One time I launched 129 bobtail squids into space.
Salexei Afonov Are they sure it’s not a tuba?
A car park in Thailand is in full bloom after a taxi company transformed its fleet into a community garden to help feed drivers put out of work by the COVID-19 pandemic.
In more recent news, wild Goffin’s cockatoos have been observed making and using a set of tools in a specific order. That is the first time such behavior has been observed in non-primates.
On the topic of golden toilets, At some point in times past a middle aged man with a drinking problem got invited to a lavish party at the home of a very wealthy man. After drinking all his bladder could hold, he sought out the necessary room, and being not familiar with the home, asked one of the wait staff, who told him to turn left, right at the next hallway intersection. So of course he turned right, and upon entering his drunken eyes were confronted by a golden toilet. Amazing he thought, and proceeded to use the vessel, not just once but over the course of the evening. The next day he was talking to a very good friend of the host and expressed his amazement at the golden toilet. As soon thereafter as he could get away, the host’s friend gave him a call and said: “Well, I found out who peed in your tuba last night”. Ba-da-bing."
Upon reentry, scientists enjoyed a 128 baby Hawaiian Bobtail calamari feast.
Acting on a secret, advanced tip from his cousin who worked for ’Cyber Ninjas’ Safonov bought the throne at a garage sale at Mar-A-Lago.
After co-starring with and befriending Robert Blake on TV, Fred was an accomplice in Blake’s wife’s death. The now 105 year old Fred fled the country and resides in Australia, a mentor to future jail-birds.
eromlig over 2 years ago
Tonight I continue my theme of Absolutely True Stories…
An onion, a rutabaga and a carrot are out for a drive when they get into a bad accident. The onion and the rutabaga aren’t seriously injured, but the carrot seems to be in bad shape. 911 is called; the carrot is rushed to the ER. Hours go by as the onion and rutabaga sit nervously in the waiting room.
Finally, the surgeon comes out. “Well, I have good news and bad news,” he begins. “Your friend is still alive; that’s the good news.”
“And the bad news?” the rutabaga asks.
“I’m afraid he’s going to be a vegetable the rest of his life.”
jasonsnakelover over 2 years ago
One time I launched 129 bobtail squids into space.
Salexei Afonov Are they sure it’s not a tuba?
A car park in Thailand is in full bloom after a taxi company transformed its fleet into a community garden to help feed drivers put out of work by the COVID-19 pandemic.
May the Lord be with you.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
Saleksey Afonov has quite the commode there.
Susan00100 over 2 years ago
We could use those cockatoos to open those damned “child-proof” lids!!
in-dubio-pro-rainbow over 2 years ago
The last criminal that had such a bowl was Mr. Goldfinger
Lotus over 2 years ago
Does the tank fill with Pooland Spring water?
cmerb over 2 years ago
What is wrong with having a gold toilet ?
tremaine53 over 2 years ago
Not sure how the 128 baby Bobtail Squid felt about this decision. I doubt it ended well for them.
tremaine53 over 2 years ago
Because… who’s going to teal a gold toilet?
Jogger2 over 2 years ago
In more recent news, wild Goffin’s cockatoos have been observed making and using a set of tools in a specific order. That is the first time such behavior has been observed in non-primates.
https://www.science.org/content/article/wild-cockatoos-make-their-own-cutlery-sets
Dean over 2 years ago
Surprised that no one here claimed to know a cockatoo
Not that there is anything wrong about that.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
On the topic of golden toilets, At some point in times past a middle aged man with a drinking problem got invited to a lavish party at the home of a very wealthy man. After drinking all his bladder could hold, he sought out the necessary room, and being not familiar with the home, asked one of the wait staff, who told him to turn left, right at the next hallway intersection. So of course he turned right, and upon entering his drunken eyes were confronted by a golden toilet. Amazing he thought, and proceeded to use the vessel, not just once but over the course of the evening. The next day he was talking to a very good friend of the host and expressed his amazement at the golden toilet. As soon thereafter as he could get away, the host’s friend gave him a call and said: “Well, I found out who peed in your tuba last night”. Ba-da-bing."
cmerb over 2 years ago
How much does a gold toilet cost anyway ?
ncorgbl over 2 years ago
Upon reentry, scientists enjoyed a 128 baby Hawaiian Bobtail calamari feast.
Acting on a secret, advanced tip from his cousin who worked for ’Cyber Ninjas’ Safonov bought the throne at a garage sale at Mar-A-Lago.
After co-starring with and befriending Robert Blake on TV, Fred was an accomplice in Blake’s wife’s death. The now 105 year old Fred fled the country and resides in Australia, a mentor to future jail-birds.
Bilan over 2 years ago
What can we learn from sending squid up in space that we didn’t already learn by sending humans up there for a year?
J. R. M. over 2 years ago
In our neighbourhood, it’s raccoons that do what the cockatoos do.
stealth694 over 2 years ago
Gold Plated or Solid Gold?
JRMadDog Premium Member over 2 years ago
An 18-carat, solid gold toilet was stolen from Blenheim Palace in the early hours of September 14, 2019.
Hmmmm …