Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 01, 2021

Tonight’s offering is absolutely true, and my “signature” story:

When I was in the 4th grade, the class bully, Tom Gould, used to target me. Since I was half his size, I didn’t have much of a chance on the playground, but in the classroom I had a little better footing…until he came up with the perfect rejoinder — at least perfect for the fourth grade — of “Not quite, Eromlig!” Anything I would call him, he came back with the same comment.“Gould, you hippo-butt!”

“Not quite, Eromlig!”

“Gould, you banana brain!”

“Not quite, Eromlig!”

No matter what I called him, he came back with the same response. But finally one day, I figured out how to cope with it. I said, “Gould, you homo sapien!” Yes, it got the expected response.

Note: the teacher was writing on the blackboard at the time. I know she heard the exchange, because, although she didn’t turn around, she stopped writing and her shoulders shook for a good two minutes. It was a glorious day.

One time I was soaring 5,001 feet with a jet pack.

Old fact on the cookbook being overdue at the library.

University researchers say that saber tooth tigers scaled around 1,000 pounds.

May the Lord be with you.

How could the library patron have forgotten to return the book for a little over half a century?

The text is much easier to read so far this week.

The book was immediately checked out by Dan Snyder. After learning that he picked out the wrong kind of Indian book, Dan’s face was quite red!

What did they do with the second twin?

I’m going to take the “or not” option on believing the jet pack story.

Given the state of current technology, jet packs lack the ability to reach 5000 feet let alone sustain flight and make a safe landing.

Just the amount of fuel required would exceed the payload capacity of a jet engine small enough to be worn as a backpack

That’s right, folks. Our Indian food so delicious that you don’t wants to return cookbooks to libraries anytime soon.

And as he hovered o’er head he blessed the boys as they stood in line.

Take care, may varmint enthusiast Eric Burdord be with you, and gesundheit.

Possible nothing. They have video of that flying guy. Saw it on the news.

So glad to see the miniscule text is gone. Hope it lasts.

Strange that with 140 million babies born per year that makes 280 fetus in fetu per year and I’ve never heard of this before.

Nobody cares about these junky facts… it’s been so long that there are no more cool ones

Reading todays RBION on my phone I saw the foetus right beside the heading “after being 53 years overdue……” and thought WTF???Then I read the full text. Now I’m Ok.

Must you?

I’m waiting for the new fact to be in print on Friday: “RBION went a whole week with readable text”

1 in 500000 is a lot….

An anonymous apology note… from the person whose name is listed as having checked it out.

And Today’s Current events are.brought to you by RBION.

The Madison Public Library abolished overdue fines. Presumably pandemic-related.

Why does everything odd happen in India? Is it because of their over-population and lack of uncontaminated drinking water?

Once again I have gotten confused. Exactly what is the difference between a “possible” man wearing a jet pack, and a Man wearing a jet pack? AND why did the pilot who reported the incident assume it was a man and not a “possible” woman wearing a jet pack? Maybe they meant to say they saw “someone” wearing a jet pack. I think a woman could wear a jet pack just as easily as a man could. Even a “possible” woman.

Goes to show what can happen if you use moonshine for jet fuel…