Drabble by Kevin Fagan for June 07, 2021

Road Rage 101…..

I wonder that myself, Ralph.

It’s my fault. Everyone always gets so upset at me because I always obey the speed limit and my F250 Superduty with the 6 inch lift and ranchero bumpers keeps me from being worried about them tailgating me.

Watch out for that tree!

And, “Drive like you had someplace to go!” my impatient Dad used to say.

I learned a whole new language from my Dad during his road rage trips.

Time to take away his keys!

The worst driver I’ve ever seen was when we were in the left lane of I-55 and the right lane was coned off for construction and this idiot stopped to let someone in from the right lane.

Road rage is working out so well that it is expanding to store lines, air travel, and just standing on the sidewalk.

Everyone else is crazy but the man in the mirror, right?

A bit of bragging here -(you’ve been warned so don’t read if you hate braggarts) I keep sane by driving backcountry roads and staying out of big cities (over a million – I live in a city of 120,000) as much as possible. The only way I’ve found that I can stay sane and make it through the big city stupidity driving is if I drive like I am mad at everybody. Then I have no problems at all. Having said all that I have never been ticketed for anything in over 40 years of driving (over 600,000 miles – I have proof) in a big city, or backcountry (no brag just fact). And that ticket was a parking ticket cause the meter ran out before I could get back to the car.

OH YEAH – I do not own or use a radar detector, I rarely drive the speed limit or slower and hate all the idiots that slam on their brakes when they see a police car. Man IF you can see them they already have you on the radar so either pull over or keep going (if you speed own it!) but QUIT SLOWING DOWN TO 45 MPH IN A 65 MPH ZONE JUST CAUSE YOU SAW A COP CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – feel so much better now. LOL

I interpret yelling at other drivers who can’t hear me) as venting my feelings, as opposed to internalizing them, and the anger coming out later, perhaps inappropriately, but possibly with bad driving on my part.

Sane? With neither of you wearing seat belts?

Everyone’s the hero in their own story.

As an NSA agent, Ralph should just take out his driving frustrations on the passengers he screens.

He’s a front-seat back-seat driver.

Let her do the driving then you can actually yell at a person instead of yourself.

USE YOUR TURN SIGNALS !!!! PLEEEEEZZZZZ!

Im glad Ralph doesn’t carry his pistol with him..

I thought Ralph was doing HER job.