Here’s one with the potential to offend three ethnicities:
A Frenchman, a Greek, and a Jew are out driving, when they’re in a horrific accident and they all die. They’re met at The Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who told them, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but Heaven is temporarity full, so you have a choice. You can either go to Purgatory, which is just like Hell, until we have an opening. OR you can go back to Earth and wait. However, that choice has some stipulations: Frenchman, if you even think about gourmet food, you’re gone. Greek, one thought about sex, and YOU’RE gone. And Jew, well, you can probably guess – one thought about money and you’re outta there.”
Well, the men agreed to the requirements, and soon found themselves back on Earth, walking along a road. Before long they came to a bakery. The Frenchman looked inside and saw a bresh-baked baguette. He inhaled deeply…and then, POOF! The Frenchman was gone.
“Boy, Pete wasn’t kidding,” the two remaining men said to each other. “We’d better watch out!”
A little further down the road, though, the Jew spies a quarter on the ground. He tries to look away, but he just can’t help himself, so he bends over to pick up the coin…and then POOF! The Greek was gone.
There is a legend that two girls who went to a Muslim Imam fighting over a doll, each one claiming the doll was hers. Imam said, just cut the doll in half and each one can have a half, one of the the girls immediately objected, saying she’s right the doll is not mine, Imam then said to her, issue is resolved, you are the owner of that doll….. Moral, Truth is shown By one who truly cares and loves.
We have a house weasel and it has been a blessing as it keeps this old house mouse free. Not a pet though as it lives in the spaces between the walls, the attic and basement and has outdoor access. Right now it has Ermine pellage.
We had a cockatiel who did a near-perfect imitation of my wife’s phone wrap-up. Especially when she was on the phone, he’d be there squawking out: “OK. OK. That’s right. OK. bye bye.” And other such. She’d get so mad because the kids and I would be cracking up at it so bad!
He pulled another good gag on us. Not sure, maybe a couple of times before we figured it out — he made the microwave’s BEEP BEEP BEEP “finished” sound, and I went out to the kitchen — “Hon, did you have something in the microwave?”
eromlig about 3 years ago
Here’s one with the potential to offend three ethnicities:
A Frenchman, a Greek, and a Jew are out driving, when they’re in a horrific accident and they all die. They’re met at The Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who told them, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but Heaven is temporarity full, so you have a choice. You can either go to Purgatory, which is just like Hell, until we have an opening. OR you can go back to Earth and wait. However, that choice has some stipulations: Frenchman, if you even think about gourmet food, you’re gone. Greek, one thought about sex, and YOU’RE gone. And Jew, well, you can probably guess – one thought about money and you’re outta there.”
Well, the men agreed to the requirements, and soon found themselves back on Earth, walking along a road. Before long they came to a bakery. The Frenchman looked inside and saw a bresh-baked baguette. He inhaled deeply…and then, POOF! The Frenchman was gone.
“Boy, Pete wasn’t kidding,” the two remaining men said to each other. “We’d better watch out!”
A little further down the road, though, the Jew spies a quarter on the ground. He tries to look away, but he just can’t help himself, so he bends over to pick up the coin…and then POOF! The Greek was gone.
jasonsnakelover about 3 years ago
How can time be sold when it’s basically free?
May the Lord be with you.
Templo S.U.D. about 3 years ago
what didn’t the Roman empire have as pets?
ekke about 3 years ago
Well, I did time. Same business, right?
Bilan about 3 years ago
One good thing to be said about the US gov’t is that it gives time out for free: https://time.gov/
Aussie Down Under about 3 years ago
Whatever happened to actually making a post that’s relevant to RBION as opposed to jokes & spoonerisms ?
UmmeMoosa about 3 years ago
There is a legend that two girls who went to a Muslim Imam fighting over a doll, each one claiming the doll was hers. Imam said, just cut the doll in half and each one can have a half, one of the the girls immediately objected, saying she’s right the doll is not mine, Imam then said to her, issue is resolved, you are the owner of that doll….. Moral, Truth is shown By one who truly cares and loves.
jmcenanly about 3 years ago
The Belville family lost their jobs to the BBC, who would broadcast the time constantly
khmo about 3 years ago
We have a house weasel and it has been a blessing as it keeps this old house mouse free. Not a pet though as it lives in the spaces between the walls, the attic and basement and has outdoor access. Right now it has Ermine pellage.
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 3 years ago
And the weasels eventually rose to power.
Take care, may Kabul fig peeler Muhammad Cleaver Bentlord be with you, and gesundheit.
ncorgbl about 3 years ago
In 1940 the Germans changed all that.
Tribune Ralstonus Purinus left the Legion to sell weasel ciao, dog ciao, bird ciao and monkey ciao.
Fortunately Al was in London and not Ipswich, home of the dead Norwegian Blue.
maverick1usa about 3 years ago
Seems we have to put up with a three way argument (or is it four way?). Anyway, it’s complicated but easy to scroll past!
ForrestOverin about 3 years ago
How many cats could a bobcat bob, if a bobcat could bob cats? Answer me THAT, ‘Believe It Or Not!’
jon who tried to make a snowman about 3 years ago
“you wanna talk” “i wish, but ive got no time!” “how ’bout i sell you some” “wha…”
Craig Westlake about 3 years ago
Weasels are still kept in Congress…
PuppyPapa about 3 years ago
We had a cockatiel who did a near-perfect imitation of my wife’s phone wrap-up. Especially when she was on the phone, he’d be there squawking out: “OK. OK. That’s right. OK. bye bye.” And other such. She’d get so mad because the kids and I would be cracking up at it so bad!
He pulled another good gag on us. Not sure, maybe a couple of times before we figured it out — he made the microwave’s BEEP BEEP BEEP “finished” sound, and I went out to the kitchen — “Hon, did you have something in the microwave?”