Tom Toles for October 11, 2020

She’s going to slop that long drink of water, Biden, all over both of them, and one’s going to melt away while the other one survives, though damaged.

Good metaphor.

Please don’t miss

Looks like a broom but it could be a tiki torch… Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in America anymore…

I’m more worried about what all the flying monkeys will do when he loses.

Don’t surrender, Dorothy. Dowse the louse!

I have a pumpkin that looks just like Trumps head. The pumpkin is empty, also. Uncanny.

Is the scarecrow meant to be Biden, or is he not in the picture?

The Wicked Witch of the West protests looking this bad.

(Take-off from “Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead,” Harburg / Arlen, 1938)

”Ding Dong the Warlock’s Cred is Dead”

Once there was a wicked warlock in the dear old USA,

He cared only for himself — to win Election Day.

The folks in MAGA-land cheered at whatever things he said,

And conveniently ignored a few hundred thousand dead.

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The wicked warlock’s magic spell did fail one fev’rish night,

And off he went to hospital on a helicopter flight.

Potions given seemed to help, we’ll never know for sure,

The wicked warlock claimed he had the real sickness cure.

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His competence as doctor for what he self-prescribed,

Is nil and most non-MAGAs suspect that he has lied.

Will truth triumph at last and crush him like a louse?

Will voters then evict him from their People’s House?

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Imagine joy that would deploy when the final vote is tallied,

If he’s voted out, the nation’s confidence and spirit will be rallied:

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Ding Dong, we’ll clap and shout

When Wicked Warlock’s voted out,

Ding Dong, the outcome was in doubt.

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The verbal fires he’d spread around

Must be stamped into the ground,

The USA will rise and bloom again.

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Flying monkeys in the air

Have s—- on people ev’rywhere,

Cleanup must proceed with utmost care.

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The evil magic spells must go

Like fog, like fog away we’ll blow, and so —

Hard work can then begin to heal,

Would not calmer times appeal?

At last relief, a smoother time,

When the wacky warlock’s heaved,

His mess he left can hardly be conceived,

Yet Ding Dong the Warlock we’ll have shed!

Trump: Why?

Dorothy: Why do you think?

Trump: Because I’m a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot?

Dorothy: Bingo.

(With thanks and apologies to 9 to 5; story by Patricia Resnick, screenplay by Patricia Resnick and Colin Higgins 1980.)

I know here in Kentucky his loss starts Tuesday when Early in-person voting starts statewide and his flying monkey, Moscow Mitch is going down in flames as well!

Make witch Trump go away like magic on Nov 3.

Vote out all of his flying monkey enablers too.

If he only had a brain…

Challenge for Trump supporters: Name four accomplishments in his four years. Vaguenesses like “greatness” or “values” don’t count. Neither do things he’s only talked, bragged, or lied about. What did he actually get DONE?

Border wall: not built.

Afghanistan War: still going.

“Easy to win” trade war: still going, sales down, prices up.

Coal-mining and auto-making jobs: still gone.

Unemployment: worst since Great Depression.

Farm bankruptcies: rising daily.

Rural broadband: nope.

America’s infrastructure: still crumbling.

College debt: staggering.

Postal service: under attack.

Social Security: threatened.

Public schools: funding diverted to for-profit and religious ones.

Drug-abuse and homelessness crises: worse than ever.

Climate change: wants to keep burning fossil fuels.

America’s standing as leader of the free world: trashed.

“Art of the deal”: Won’t negotiate with Congress; broke America’s word on Paris Climate Accords and Iran nuclear bargain; did slap new label on NAFTA.

Law and order: more top administration and campaign officials under indictment in four years than previous seven presidents in 43.

Business management: Cabinet a revolving door of firings and resignations; majority of federal agencies under unconfirmed acting heads.

Nazis and Klansmen: “fine people”.

Our troops: “losers”, “suckers”, bonus insults for POWs and Gold Star families.

Health care: best in the world — and free — if you’re him.

Coronavirus: total, colossal, unmitigated, blundering, mismanaged catastrophe.

So go ahead, try to find those four gold nuggets in that gigantic pile of manure. Then face the hard reality: he’s running the country the same way he ran his casinos, university, and airline — into the ground. Using other people’s money. Taking no responsibility. Stiffing the people who actually do the work. Because when it’s always all about him, it’s never going to be about you.

Flush the turd November third!

Bye-Don 2020!

He doesn’t need fire; all he has to do is cough!

Don’t click your heels Dorothy ! You’ll be in Kansas !! OMG !

This is just my ego speaking, but Mr Toles, can’t you wait until November 4th for retirement? Please????