Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for May 29, 2020

Yes mom I still haven’t married and given you grandkids.

Now, open your mouth and say “Aaaaaaa-ll of you never call anymore.”

He became a doctor and she’s still disappointed in him.

But your son is a doctor, ma’am! There’s no pleasing some people.

She wanted him to be a gynecologist

My grandfather had two successful sons. Someone congratulated him on them, but he said, “So one’s a psychologist and the other’s a urologist. What I needed was a plumber!”

I do a lot of aerobic exercise. Consequently, my lungs have a lot of tidal capacity. The air at the bottom of my lungs gets stale every now and then and I take a deep breath and sigh. I have to warn my co-workers that this is a physiological reaction and not a commentary on what they might be saying at the moment.

Unless this is a social visit on Medicare time, she should really be looking for another doctor.

What, you wanted him to be a lawyer?!

The smartest guy in Dilbert is the garbage man.

He’s not a chiropractor…he’s a real M.D.

But look at the money you would have made as a Plastic Surgeon in California.

When I became a parent, I figured out why moms sigh like that. They’re taking a deep breath to calm themselves so they don’t rip Junior’s head off.