Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for January 08, 2020

He needs a BitFit instead.

At least he’s on track unless he steps it up.

He’s feeling rattled about that.

Because, you see, snakes don’t have feet!!!

On the bright side, he/she reaches their personal best EVERY day!

They expend a lot of energy tracking down prey, and black mambas are the fastest snakes on the planet.

Steps? LOLOLOLOL

Update to the distance based tracker not the step based one then latch on to a jogger (haha)

You ever wonder if a snake stubs a rib?

This thing smells like it’s made in China, so it figures it’s not sensitive to undulations.

No way to wiggle out of this one.

Yikes, a snake! Where’s that fat broad from B.C. when ya need her!

Must be defective.

Step count may not be adjusted for scale.

Reptile Dysfunction.

He needs to switch to a slith-ometer.

Just use the GPS.