Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for December 17, 2019

Opticians never pass away, they just dilate.

Ooof!

This is a truth: If you’re near sighted, when your glasses help you see more clearly, they also make the world seem smaller. You can check this for yourself: Pick some object near the outside of your field of view, and then slip your glasses off and back on. See that jump?

By the looks of things, not a business you’d want to patronize!!!

I think he’s just magnifying the situation.

“Do I look clearer this way? Or this way?”

I was going to be an optician but during my interview, I fell into the lens grinder and made a spectacle of myself.

Objects in window are closer than they appear.

I can’t read that top line.

We had an Optometrist living in the condo above us. His name was Seymour.

Can you see me now?

If he’s on the sunny side of the street, he’d better have a working smoke detector.

Your new lenses make my bottom look big.

I put one of those windows in front of my 17" trinitron and got Big Screen TV

Giving him the glad hand.

There’s gotta be a potential joke in here about male endowment.

Can you see me?

Which is better (1) in the doorway or (2) through the window?