Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for July 20, 2021

Unfortunately, Phoebe has a feeble swing.

I lack hand-eye co-ordination myself. She’s doing it right by holding close to the bottom. More control and less distance to misjudge.

An offering? Maybe the incense can help. Y’know, sedate the fly or make it woozy.

If that doesn’t work, open the window and use a leaf blower on it.

We have seasonal drain gnats. They like to fly close to your face. Just try to swat those suckers! They are faster than greased lightning. Plus you’ll probably swat yourself.

That appeal will fall on deft ears.

Try Hand-Fly coordination instead, Phoebs…

Will she … knock over the vase? … or the candles?

… or will she hit herself up side her head?

Is that a Ming Dynasty vase behind her?

Fly’s harshing her mellow.

I’ve been known to do Elmer Fudd with a shotgun type destruction to kill pesky flies.

She has her radar eyes on!

It doesn’t help that she’s praying to Bacchus…

Salt gun. I recommend a salt gun

Most bugs are phototropic. Sometimes briefly opening a door or window will allow them to leave. I’m talking one-at-a-time bugs, not the Gnat Cloud. :)

Take a lot more 3 candles and 1 incense stick, the deities wrote her off as a lost cause when she tried to stomp on a bug.

Buy a tiny salt shotgun!

See: Today’s Candorville has a solution.

Recently I managed to clap above a fly and he had flown between my hands. I did this while my 11 year old nephew was watching. He now thinks I am a fly killing ninja. I didn’t bother to tell him that is the first time it worked in years.

Don’t swat the candles, Phoebe. Just saying.