Rubes by Leigh Rubin for August 23, 2019

That, “QUACKS me up !”

This would explain the headline I saw the other day about aggressive Canada geese…

How about them Moose Goosers,

Ain’t they recluse?

Up in them boondocks,

Goosin’ them moose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApvLjTjYls0

Quack softly, and carry a big stick…

There’s more than a few Canada geese around here I’d like to take a bat to.

My heart goes where the wild goose goes . . . Canada eh!

Lady on a crowded elevator suddenly shouts, “I’ve been geesed!” Another rider says, “I believe the correct word is goosed.” She replies, “Don’t you think I can count?”

You know he’s a Canadian Canada Goose. He ends every sentence with “, eh?”.

Honker bonker

“It’s OK if you’re a celebrity. They let you do it.”

True story. One year as the holidays were approaching my mother turned to my father and told him that just once, she’d like a nice hot goose for Christmas. My father got up and started towards the kitchen. When my mother asked where he was going, he replied, “to put my finger in the oven”.

You don’t mess around with Canada Geese. They’ve been known to bring down planes.

Shouldn’t that be a hockey stick?

Somebody forgot to duck.

Part of the #HONKTOO movement