Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 03, 2018

Goat, explain it to Pig in Old English.

You can try ask Rat to pledge. As long as it’s pledging for a never ending supply of beer to be delivered to his hand every fifteen minutes I’m sure he’ll sign up for five cents. But if it’s for something more realistic and altruistic, ignore Rat all together.

Can you imagine the trouble Pastis would be in if he cleaned that car Spic and Span?

Yes, but will Pig take the pledge?

Pledge to the Pearls Fans Anonymous?

I signed up for a pledge drive once, it turned out to be a “hard drive”. Drum roll please.

Why is it………..that you can get furniture polish made with real lemons….but all lemonade is artificially flavored???

because furniture polish doesn’t have to be safe for humans to consume.

Pig never realized that Goat was so driven…

I went to a garage sale one time… and they didn’t have a single garage for sale!?!

MORE CROCS!

My wife equates “dusting” with “Pledging” and uses it on everything— even my chromed ship’s bell clock and barometer set. And I bought her those microfiber dustcloths, that work really well: she uses them with Pledge, thereby negating their functionality.

The Punnisher strikes again. (With double n. Get it? :)

Pearls Before Swine is the PBS with a different kind of pledge drive.

Pastis: You alone might be able to save puns from the dung heap of comedy. I bow to you, Sir.

Gonna hit the dusty trail.

Good ole Lemon Pledge. Years ago, not only in the last century but in the last millennium, I was doing some grocery shopping. As it happened, the Country Time Lemonade powder-mix was directly across the aisle from the Lemon Pledge, and I happened to read the labels of both products. The lemonade mix clearly said “artificially flavored.” However, the furniture polish boldly proclaimed, “made with real lemon juice.” To this day, I wonder why people drink the chemistry set and spray the good stuff on the coffee table. But I’m of the elderly persuasion, so what do I know?

I use Pledge to polish my motorcycle.

Don’t forget to take your Pride and Joy with you on your Pledge drive!

Looks like Stephan has been smoking the “wacky weed” again….. 

And if you drive all the way to the ocean, you can do your laundry in Tide.

Hey, we park on driveways and drive on parkways. The lemony pledge is only half as ironic. ;o)

Pig is hopelessly literal-minded (assuming he is “minded” at all), and I think Goat knows that but is too compassionate to do anything helpful to the little porker….