Tom Toles for April 02, 2015

“What did I say about throwing the first stone?”

You’re not supposed to notice them. That’s why we focus on gays and abortion!

Hey! The Holy Bible was written by God himself! It is completely perfect, and we are supposed to follow it without fail…. except for the stuff us true believers say we don’t have to follow anymore.

http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_meritt/bible-contradictions.htmlhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_consistency_of_the_Bible

This is definitely not something Jesus would do.

You’ve gotten some very good responses from a couple very wise and respectable members but I will throw my two cents in there too.The Bible is like the Constitution, you are only supposed to use the parts that fit and support your needs TODAY and ignore all the parts that don’t. And if faced with a contradiction, you have the right to redefine what “it” means to also fit your needs. Take anything out of context and misquote or omit parts so you can justify your bigotry, intolerance and hatred.Ever notice how the Right tends to take the whole argument and then defend for or against it in its entirety instead of selectively editing to fit a particular narrative? Me too.

The bible was written by people a couple of thousand years ago. It is not infallible or even accurate. Religion is supposed to teach you to lead a good and productive life and to love others. It does not tell you to discriminate or inflict your personal beliefs upon others. Do unto others as you would do unto your self and that includes the liberals in the world. Writing daily comments about how stupid they are and how smart you are is not following the faith. It must be difficult to be so righteous and smart but if you keep trying your might turn out to be a decent person.

“There are some upon this earth of yours,” returned the Spirit, “who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name, who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us.” —the Ghost of Christmas Present, ‘A Christmas Carol’, Third Stave

The entire Bible is literally true and was written by the finger of God. Apparent contradictions are allegories, or parables, or signs of the transcendent ineffability of God, and swallowing both parts of them whole are a measure of how holy you are. Wholly holy whole.

Its most important teaching is that we must smite anyone who’s a little different from us, even more vigorously than we smite those that are wholly unlike us. It’s all the fault of those LEFT-foot-washin’ people. Once they’re wiped out, God will reward us with harps and haloes and stuff that He somehow, inexplicably, forgot to write in His book, but which we’re fixing for Him.

It’s easier since the 50s, when American churches decided that only the GOP could fight the Commies, and in order to kiss up to the GOP, they deprecated all that Socialist stuff about feeding the poor and rewrote it into a Prosperity Gospel that sounds good in a megachurch.

Amen.

I often make sarcastic comments about ‘Jeebus’ on this page. The reason I do that is to distinguish him, who the fundementalist right-wingers claim is their messiah from Him, who is the real messiah.To wit, the guy on the left in this cartoon is the Biblical Jesus, and the guy on the right is the one I call Jeebus, the twisted, uber-right-wing version of the biblical Jesus[]http://www.thepaincomics.com/Jesus%20vs.%20Jeezus.jpg

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

“What is written in the Law?” He replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii© and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”[] What isn’t mentioned in the bible is that in those days, the Judeans considered Samaritans to be nothing short of the vilest creatures on the face of the earth. The blackest hatred that a homophope of today might feel towards gays doesn’t even come close to the way the Judeans felt about the Samaritans.

Every time you show up here harley, you spout off nothing but snarky comments and insults about ‘the loony left’They you accuse US of being hateful.You should be in movies you, know that? Yer such a GREAT projector.

The most angry comments I ever got online were when I posted a message to another forum, ( one freguented by rightwing born-agains ) stating that if/when The AntiChrist comes, THIS is what he’ll probably look like .[]http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/filepicker%2F0C3BwB3S7ywiUkdVQv9z_Jesus.jpg[]You can guess what the responses were: “How DARE you blaspheme Jesus like that?” “You should be ashamed for having insulted our Lord that way.” and the ever popular, “I wouldn’t want to be YOU when you face God’s final judgement.”[]I let it go on for about three or four days, then responded with one, simple question.[]“How do you know THAT is what the real Jesus REALLY looked like?” []The response?Dead!Plinkin’!Silence!

Crying? Me? Nope, try having a good laugh at right-wing hypocrites’ expense and you’re getting at least within shouting disance of the mark.

Perfect. It’s not that nobody knows, though, just that nobody cares. Sames as early Nazi Germany.

Let’s see…you believe in the existence of something for which there is absolutely no physical proof. But all others are the loonies??? If one person believes in a delusion, it’s called insanity. If many people believe in the same delusion, it’s called religion.

Okay, what interpretation of “the word” determines “bad”? Islam has two major factions, and a few more folks can’t keep track of. Christianity has two major factions, and over 30,000 more, folks can’t keep track of.

Uh, challenging what Islam to follow does make sorting out Christian views to follow.

It bothers me that people think that the got and I forget who else, do nothing but have perverted sex all the time.They live pretty much like everyone else. I don’t really know what they do about sex, but most of it is love, not sex. and it is a gender identity problem part of the time and it is hereditary.I don’t understand why, but it is. Just like eye color or what hand is dominent.I have freiends who are gay and why my obsevations.

Shame on the elephant for blaming Jesus.If anyone is blameless it would be Jesus.

I’m down, dude. No more pussyfooting around. So… mdavis4183 is a racist and a bigot.

Man with woman = HETEROSEXUALS!!! No cute names, tell it like it is.