Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 17, 2014

If you keep your scotch in the fridge.

What do you use for the marker? A rice cake?

An at-home sobriety test? You can’t have another beer if you can’t hopscotch.

Bilan, forget that! I can play Crawl Scotch if I have to….

“It was my understanding that there would be no math….” — Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford, SNL, 1976.

Could be more interesting going AWAY from the fridge. Messy?

He looks kind of confused, as if his wife put the numbers down without telling him. My wife always confused the heck out of me.

walk around, and save time

Then there was the backwoodsman who claimed his daughters played hopbourbon…

Just don’t open your soda after jumping back to the Lazy Boy!

or. go mormon…no booze, no tobacco, no sugar, no caffeine, no spices.

maybe too late….

I tried a new weight-loss pill; it comes in a bottle of 100. You don’t swallow them: you just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one-by-one.

If that tubby guy tries to hop, he could smash right through the floor. Or maybe the floor would shake so much, the fridge would fall over. Shoulda picked a ‘low impact’ starter exercise. Like just plain ole walking…

Remember to stretch and warm up……you could pull a groin at 4 and 5.

This should be a “new” part of the school diet program…….too much sitting in class, not near enough out door time to burn off the calories taken in….of course that also applies to home time too.

Only if ones Sporty and and the other’s Scary.

In phase 2 of the program, you hire 2 small children to swing double dutch jump ropes in front of the fridge.

I probably wouldn’t even notice it… The cat had to learn the hard way. I’d come into the kitchen and if he was laying there ( in the middle of the floor) I wouldn’t see him and he’d get stepped on. Now he sleeps with one eye open and runs off as I approach.

Hop scotch was originally designed as an exercise for Roman soldiers.

Give it a try. What do you have to loose.

If he gets to ten he’s too close to open the door ?

That diet only works for 10 year old girls