Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 28, 2014

Hilareous.

Actually, before Moses, God tried Noah.

{sigh}

but Cain set the role model for “men”, all eve did was try set the stage for Baseball, mom, and apple pie!

Editor: “And we’ll need you to give us a new set every issue. Can you make it 11 tips by the 15th, to give us time to run them by the focus group, in case we need to cut one?”

“Could you print them on something we could give away with each issue?”

Aren’t “Keeping yourself smite-free” what the 10 commandments are about, anyway? I think it would have worked – considering the influence of women in the old testament, why not?

Call it “Rules For Rebels:Ten Ways to Defy God’s Plans for Your Downfall.”You just have to know your audience.

Naaaawwww! (Hope you were chuckling as you typed your words – I don’t want to offend anyone’s beliefs.)

I really, really like the garden idea a lot! (Why am I suddenly seeing infomercials regarding this in the sidebar…?)

Next Week: Ten Great Ways To Know If Your Following the Ten Great Tips

And before them all, there was Hugh Hefner’s “10 ways to pick up hot chicks—not!”

What? No quizzes or surveys to drive your man crazy.

No wonder God makes them wear burkas….Opps! Sorry, wrong God!

Speaking of those tablets, have you ever seen them displayed in people’s yards?

Not true, She threw the dice and came up snake eyes…..

“What’s wrong with the stone tablets?"Do you have any idea what the postage on those babies would be? You’d never be able to sell subscriptions with stone tablet fall-outs.

Internet editor, not simply womens magazine editor. Buzzfeed, Cracked, HuffPost etc. etc. etc.

The Almighty’s fortunate she’s not chipping away with edits…

(An actual page pairing.)

This one about not “killing”; does this preclude sports analogies, and little black dresses?

I liked the one from “History Of The World Part 1”, where Moses showed up with three tablets and said "I give you the 15 commandments , then slips and drops one of the tablets, without missing a beat picks up with 10 , I give you these 10 commandments from God! Great movie great cast.

I thought the 10 commandments were good suggestions on the things to avoid in order to get through life with the least amount of drama.

@hsawirae…………..the word is spelled Hilarious…….better get spell check

50 ways to wash your face in the blood of the lamb

It’s amazing to me that people who can’t figure out how to program their DVRs or their smartphones can tell you what an omniscient, omnipotent entity is thinking.

You can keep all 10 and still get smitten.

Yet another reason men and women will never understand each other. Women engage in a social dance and say the opposite of what they mean, men are blunt and straightforward about what they mean. It’s called “communication.” No wonder YWH chose a guy to deliver the Ten Commandments; He wanted someone who would just come out and say what was meant.

God cannot be a woman. Otherwise she would not have created PMS, morning sickness, labor pains and menopause. God cannot be a man. Otherwise the universe would be held together with duct tape.

“Cleveland Mom Uses Ten Weird Tricks to Avoid Smitings.”

Don’t forget the perfume samples attached to every tablet.

“Oh Lord we thank thee for these 15…(a tablet slips out of Moses hands and smashes on the rocks)…ahhh,10, yes… 10 Commandments…!!!”

History of the World, Part 1. Mel Brooks

Don’t even ASK about the burning bush thing.

Or Yahoo! news, style, entertainment, whatever. Everything is a numbered list on Yahoo!

Very cute. There is overkill. Moses must of gotten to the point.

Could they do any worse than men have done? Think about it (if you’re capable)!

Three segments: Judaism, Christianity, Islam, same “God of Abraham”. About those ten (or was it originally 15?) “commandments”, followed by the over 600 laws Moses handed down, the basis for all the restrictions, especially on women. (good point, as usual, Wiley)

“Thou shalt not open a Red Lobster in the ‘holy’ land.”