Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 04, 2014

Wow — this mean I’m disabled too!:I’m gonna get one of those special parking stickers right now!

Or pay me until I go away…Either one’s good.

And that, my friends, is why I don’t shop at Walmart.

Reminds me of the story of someone who asked a large audience “Raise your hand if you’re an above-average driver” and everyone raised their hand.

Unfortunately for Rat, the claim that his ‘disability prevents him from working with people’ really dooms his cause: he could just work away from people. There must be jobs that would place him in the middle of nowhere with no contact with the outside world…that would prevent any contact with idiots.

Frazz gave a shout out to Pearls today! Another resolution blown!

I worked in a call center. Every day, as I was leaving for work, I said goodbye to my wife with, “Farewell! I go to speak with idiots!” People who thought they could fax cash. People who didn’t know how many socks came in a pair. People who thought if they mailed their order form on a Sunday afternoon that they’d have their order on Monday. People who had to look at a piece of mail they had received to find their address. People who were mad at us because the order they placed with our competitor was screwed up. Rat, I hear you.

I find it hard to be on the same planet as the mayor of Toronto.

I always wondered why they put handicap parking right by the front door of a store, and put the cart return spots way out by the back of the lot. Guess they just want those people to dump them by the door.

I see also that in a national poll, 96% of the American people consider themselves above average in intelligence.

They’re all bastards, rat.

@doublepaw – That would explain why our politics (pResident, CONgress) are as they are. Too bad they don’t know they’re wrong!

“I play on a team of IDIOTS”-Tom Brady on this season’s Patriots

A lot of you don’t seem to understand the difference between handicapped and disabled.

You’re the idiot in my book, Rat.

xxx

I WISH it were that easy to get.

@celecca if you have the right lawyer, I wouldn’t doubt it. Nice slam at the large amount of fakers miking SS disability. And yes the majority of people on disability deserve it. Just have to weed the fakers out of the mental and back pain complaints.

I have an appointment with Social Security next month. I hope I don’t meet anyone like Rat!

Think about Alpha Delta’s reply and enjoy it.

OK—since no one has commented on this yet (surprisingly) …

The line of “Oh, that I could stay home for that” in the last panel isn’t making much sense to me.

For once I 100% agree with Rat

If I were the SSA guy, I’d call the exterminators. Just sayin’….

He does have a disability! He was born without a moral compass.