That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 03, 2020

Staten Island Ferry at rush hour.

Road rage on the canals has become a spectator sport.

Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream, Merrily merrily,… What the $*&#, that bastard cut me off!

Those guys have got to be more careful – I think that their boat is over it’s occupancy limit. They’re going to get a ticket.

Romans sailed their ships the same way Italians drive their cars. Ships were christened, but they never made it out of the port. And that’s why you’ve never heard of the Roman Armada.

Man, these cruise ships will be the death of Venice yet.

Movies were so much better in those days.

They didn’t have CGI, so everything was done live action.

opening act for burlesque queens of rome, 2 BCE…

The Moat the merrier!

I always think of the scene with Livia and the Gladiators in I, Claudius:

Livia: [to the gladiators] I want a good show. I want my money’s worth! I don’t want any kiss-in-the-ring stuff, and I don’t want my family watching two grown men pussyfooting around each other for half an hour before one of them aims a real blow. There’s been too much of that in the past. And don’t think you can fool me either, because I know every trick in the book, including the pig’s blood in the bladder to make it look as if one of you is dead. There’s been too much of that too lately. These games are being degraded by the increasing use of professional tricks to stay alive! And I won’t have it! So put on a good show, and there’ll be plenty of money for the living and a decent burial for the dead. And if not, I’ll break this guild up and I’ll send the lot of you to the mines in Numidia.

“Hey a$$hole, that’s my parking space!!”

“Warships again! This is getting very Trireme”

“Meh, this is nothing compared to watching all the chariots trying to leave after the show.”

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race was a failure when they introduced the point-to-pint-to-point penalty

Leftover from yesterday’s masterpiece: You can tell from his fancy attire/ that he sings in the sultan’s choir/ he’s missing two parts/ that are dear to men’s hearts/ but nobody sings notes higher.

A show with a naval theme/ was every Roman kid’s dream/ but it wasn’t much fun/ if you were the one/ who captained the losing trireme.

All the boats rushed for the exit after someone yelled fire.

Go Navy! Beat Army!

“Trireme” is a great _Scrabble_™ word. Just sayin’. (Although I’m well aware nobody under the age of 65 plays _Scrabble_™ anymore. Who wants to play a game where spelling actually counts!)

The Roman traffic cops were no more successful in directing the Colosseum’s Naumachiae than they were with the rest of the traffic in Rome!

Simon says: Lean left

As John Cleese once wrote, the current Spanish Armada is outfitted with glass bottoms so that they can see the previous Spanish Armada.

45 passengers set sail that day………

Retakes of the movie were a real headache.

Mostly Peaceful Protests, Summer 2020.

“Yeah? Well, YOU try parallel parking one of these $%^&* things!”

I wonder what became of Sally/ the pride of the Roman pep rally/ I fear the poor wench/ was chained to the bench/ of a rapidly sinking galley…

The naumachia (Naval battle between Romans): 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:La_naumaquia-Ulpiano_Checa.JPG 

(best viewed by Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

https://thebiography.us/en/checa-y-sanz-ulpiano 

http://www.mcnbiografias.com/app-bio/do/show?key=checa-y-sanz-ulpiano 

https://www.museodelprado.es/coleccion/artista/checa-y-sanz-ulpiano/0bc5e8c6-86c9-43d2-9a6e-838b4da56afb 

https://www.theknohlcollection.com/portfolio/detail/ulpiano-checa-sanz-spanish-1860-1916/ 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist (again, Chrome can automatically translate if necessary), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL. First work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2591 (December 2, 2020) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Best toga party ever!

One more contribution to yesterday’s masterpiece, from my brother: although he’s hung like a bazooka/he’s seeking surcease in a hookah/ as a lad, he survived/ being gonad deprived/ and now he’s a mere Mameluke- ah !

Remembering such a contest from the movie Pontius Pilate. It was in a lake full of crocodiles instead of a flooded arena.

“All right! All right! Here’s my license and insurance card. No need to fight about it.”

the roman coliseum was a bit small to portray the sea battle, but you can see how it was fought. Rome won.

Dam* it! I told you to check your brakes! Now look what you’ve done!

The first attempt at bumper boats didn’t go so well …