Tom Toles for April 27, 2018

“Mother earth isn’t fit to work at Mar-a-lago! She’s not a ten, not even a five!”

Yes, Donnie, that’s what we’re afraid of.

France has a long history as the first international ally of our nation in its infancy, and the ally that has stood with us longer and stronger than any other.

FRANCE was our 1st ally, that made possible our Revolution against the Colonialist oppressors.

FRANCE rejected requests for support by the Confederate rebel traitors.

FRANCE was our ally in World War I.

FRANCE was our ally in World War II.

FRANCE was our ally in the Indochina war (that devolved into Vietnam).

FRANCE was our ally in the First Gulf War.

FRANCE was our ally in Afghanistan and kept troops there, albeit a smaller number, as long as we did.

The symbol of our nation — the Statue of Liberté — was a gift from France in 1876 to celebrate the centennial of our nation’s birth that they made possible.

As to the Iraq war, no, they did not join us in our tragic invasion of the WRONG COUNTRY to help enrich Dubya’s oil cronies and the defense contractors of the “military-industrial complex” that Eisenhower warned us about who profiteer off the deaths and suffering of our brave heroes.

THEIR BROMANCE FIZZLED – {rhyme}

Their “bromance” went “nyet”

and has ended its course, -

- since the world has bet

on the better horse.

But Trump will try to get even

for the whole world’s up-and-leavin’

with the dapper young Frenchman

who wouldn’t be his henchman.

======

TRUMP vis-a-vis MACRON – {rhyme}

When Trump mis-pronounces

the French-name “Macron{k}”, -

- he sounds like a goose’s adenoidal “hon{k}”.

When the Frenchman denounces

The Donald’s game plan, -

- he sounds more intelligent, a MUCH smarter man.

When The Donald flounces

so his “Macho” will show, -

- Macron trumps Trump with his OWN “Alpha” glow.

==========

It’s unfair to compare Trump to Macron intellectually.

“…that Mother Earth, she’s so biased against me and my beautiful golf courses. She’s drowning my courses in Scotland and soon in Mar-a-lago, she’s got water coming out of the sky, she’s got water coming up from her whatever…”

{Off the cartoon’s topic:}

COHEN’S FIFTH - {rhyme}

“I’ll take the Fifth mySelf to protect, -

- and also to help the Prez

in his hopes that his tenure’ll not be wrecked

by stuff that his lawyer sez.

To The Donald’s interest I genuflect; -

- perhaps he’ll not have to {confess} confez.”

=========

The earth needs more Macrons. Damn the dandruff.

Donnie hired a hit man to take care of that job for him. His name is “Screwit” Pruitt.

Oooh, he’s not gonna be pickin’ dandruff off of him anymore!

When LI’l Donnie picked that bit of dandruff off Macron, Macron should’ve picked that dead animal off Li’l Donnie’s head!

Q: Who is most likely to win a Nobel Peace Prize?

(a) Bashar al-Assad

(b) Kim Jong Un

© Vladimir Putin

(d) Donald J. Trump

(e) none of the above

“He can’t cheat on me! I’m not pregnant!”

For a second, I thought we were back at the 1939 World’s Fair.

Crooked liar Trump is dirt so he is halfway there.

You folks are TOO MUCH! I love it! More! More! Keep it going! Maybe others will get the message. Maybe.

Yeah, Macron accepts the fact that the Earth is spherical, while Trump believes that the Earth is flat like a pancake, just so his base will continue to support him. Never mind global warming or any other prickly issue.