Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 14, 2014

And you thought finding mouse droppings in the kitchen was a bad thing…

Is this where a mouse actually comes in handy?

Julius Marx once shot an elephant in his pajamas. How did the elephant get into Julius’ pajamas, we’ll never knew.

Ninja-phants.

Reminds me of the old elephant jokes from the 60s. Such as:

“How can you tell is there is an elephant in your fridge?”“Look for his footprints in the pizza.”

“How can you tell if there is an elephant on your roof?”“Look for his little, red bicycle in the back yard.”

“Why do elephants paint their toenails red?” “So they can hide in cherry trees.”“Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?”“No, so I guess it must work, then.”

Wow! Maybe you should visit go-comics.com to give you a little lighter side. You’re kind of like the guy who goes to a comedy show just to heckle the comedian. Most go there to laugh.

I’m picturing an elephant tip-toeing through the kitchen and then diving under the kitchen table to hide as Pig and Rat approach. It does take a bit of a stretch of the imagination. That’s why it’s so funny….

I think there’s a tuscaloosa here. Or two.

and just why cannot two elephants go swimming together? Because they only have one pair of trunks between them…

What is large, grey and has a trunk? An obese elderly fieldmouse heading off on a cruise….

finally…Why do elephants still have big ears? Because Noddy refuses to pay the ransom…

(for the British who remember Enid Blyton)

It should be as obvious as an elephant in the room!

@fbjsr and @templo SUD—Both of you forgot the other Marx brother…KARL!

But don’t feel bad! I once remembered McCartney, Starr, & Harrison, but I forgot LENIN!

Anybody remember Skip Williamson’s Elephant Duty?

that is one messy eater…too much to soon!

Tiptoe…. through the tulips…

Is that Ellie Elephant? Must be light on her feet!

I recall that one can tell if an elephant was in your kitchen by the footprints in the peanut butter.

Q: How do you keep a bull elephant from charging?A: Take away his credit card.

Q: What goes boom, boom, boom, squish?A: An elephant with one wet tennis shoe.

Q; Why did the elephant wear tennies?A: Elevenies were too big and ninies were too small.

Q: What’s gray and packs a trunk?A: Rat going on vacation.

Q: How can you tell there’s an elephant in bed with you?A: He has an E on his pyjamas.

“You don’t have to have a point to have a point…”

I used to love elephant jokes…they are so silly …we need more “silly” these days…

My favorite elephant joke is:What did the elephant say to the naked man?“How do you pick anything up with that?”

To people that live in ivory towers elephants on the ground below look like ants…

Ha. He’s a cute elephant.

Rat will soon get his cricket bat out.

Just waiting…………xxx

And there’s the immortal “Why do elephants have trunks?”“Because there’s no room for glove compartments.”…

Are the elephantçs toenails painted red? Then he can hide in a strawberry patch.