Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 23, 2009

Also known as the Morte-Deli?

You do realize there’s a film called “Delicatessen” that uses this as its’ main plot, right?

All cuts of meat are 100% filler and additive free.

The Businessman Special. Since he’s on the menu, it will be a surprise special too.

hm, that site redirects back to this page. Perhaps the contest was not ready quickly enough?

My creative juices are flowing!

We have an undressed turkey sandwich Also a sirloin strip. Oysters, unadorned on the half shell.

Drink special:

Strip and Go Naked Cocktail.

Dessert special”

Zested Orange peel Tart

Nature red in tooth and cleaver

Now Serving Man!

Serving New Yorkers since 2008

Now Serving Man!

Gives new meaning to “Can I serve who’s next?”

Oops! Gave away my contest entry.

(or did he … )

It takes guts to share your beliefs - and your chicken! Man, I do love a good chicken. And having a personal belief system ain’t too shabby either. - Kristi

My Texas-born momma’s fried chicken was a religious experience!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D18NS0FJ83o

You do realize there’s a film called “Delicatessen” that uses this as its’ main plot, right?

Does Sweeney Todd get a … sl-l-lice of the profits?

Frickin chicasee.

Soup Du Jour: Rats and Iguanas $9.11

GRAND RE-OPENING! (under new management)

Come on in & try one of our new & improved, “Other White Meat” (“Top-of-the-food-chain”) lunch items !

(Avail. for a limited time only, while supplies last!)

“Don’t Eat at Joe’s” Seen it in a cartoon…where a pl\ilgrim was eaten by a…bear!

Specials from our own Sandwich Designers

FEED THAT MAN MEAT

Seductive Soy meat $ 5.99 Big Beefy Nutmeat $ 5.45 Hearty Tofu Meat $ 5.75 Juicy Branmite minute steak $ 6.20

All sandwiches served with fresh naturally grown organic leaves, tossed in our delicious, chlorine free, non-buffered spring water.

We put the “buff” in “buffet”!

“Baked Snake & a ‘Tater - $2.99”

“Stupidity will be served”

or

“Now serving: stupidity”

Special Today

Extra-Fresh

“Chipped Meat”

(Provides Guaranteed Weight Loss)

Today’s Special

Long Pig

today’s special

Business Man Lunch

“the other white meat”

today’s special:

is selected at random

today’s special:

Bob-ka-bobs,

Come on in Bob

Not for the weak of heart or the hugh of body.

“Our lunch special is to die for.”

Today’s Special Cook: Jon Arbuckle

believe it or not, but here in NJ there was a store actually named “The Cat and Dog Deli”

sure wish I had a picture of it now.

“Eat here and you will never eat any place else”

All meat served rare!

Wanted!!!! Cooks Diswhshers Cashiers Waiters

“Certified by the Hannibal Lecter school of Culinary Arts”

Cash for Chunkers

Wanted! Couch Potatoes

Welcome! Enter freely, and of your own accord.

Gives a whole new meaning to the claim that “Customer Delight is our most important product.”

I thought there were going to be contest details here…? I don’t want to post my entry unless I know this is the right place to do it!

With apologies to Rod Serling: We Serve Mankind.

With apologies to Rod Serling: We Serve Mankind.

Pardon the mess, please come in!

All cuts of meat prepared to your exact specifications.

“Today’s Specials

Fred and Chips Charlie Parmesan Sub Roast Ben Club Sandwich”

This reminds me of the natural selection diner strip with the shish-ka-‘Bob’ as the menu / employee of the week

Today’s Special

Chicken Apples Tarts Specimens

Come on In…

We’ll be Glad You Did!

Today’s Special :

The Natural Order

Today’s Special

homme a la chat

Today’s Special: filet d’homme

New Menu

Animal Health Care Reform

Come be a part of our lunch buffet special!

“Pet Appreciation Week…Why not Wok your dog today?”

Special: All u-can eat buffet

Dine-In only

NEW Food chain! (where you don’t have to be the fittest)

Come on in and get the skinny.

Two for one special

Please send your entries for the Non Sequitur Sign Off to nonseqsignoff@amuniversal.com. We also need your Name, Phone Number, Email Address and Hometown Newspaper (if applicable). Just out the full rules and details on the Blog.

-GoComics Team

“Where YOU are what WE eat!”

There is no link to the contest at the top of the my web page using Firefox. Appears the geeks want you to use IE instead.

Sandwich Specials:

Monty Crisco Sloppy Joe

served with a side of soylent greens…

Obama Stimlus Spaghetti $10 Trillion Pelosi Partisan Pudding $8.5 Billion Reid “Ridin’ the Fence” Peyote Free in CA & CO Beiden Bullion (Thin and watery) $Priceless

Specials-

PETit fours creme brutee

Failed Species Special - Cheap Cuts

New Customer Special!

Meet the missing Cleaver family member and it’s not Beaver!

Come in and make YOURSELF a Meal

“To Serve Man” was a short story by Damon Knight before Rod Serling adapted it for The Twilight Zone.

I once entered pork chili in a chili cook-off, giving it the title, “Mock Chili con Hombre.”

My other thought is from “Fried Green Tomatoes…”

Good Barbecue!

Homme Cooking.

Today’s special – Baked Alaskan

apparently people cannot follow instructions.

Puree aux homme

Hope the Non Secuitur “sign-off” is an intellectual contest and not the END!

come in and meet the meat (apologies to HHGTTG)

You will now become part of the food chain. Today we are serving soylent green with mashed potatoes and gravy.

THAT’S NO BULL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@kramyellek Re: No link at the top of the page when using Firefox

Try refreshing / reloading the page. The link wasn’t there when I first came to the site, but showed up when I went to page 2 of the comments and was still there when I went back to page 1. You and I probably just ran into a timing issue, where we came to the page before the link was added to the page. (FWIW, I’m running Firefox 3.5.5.)

Check your clothes at the door

Abensneezer: Geez, that would be a large pile of clothes at the end of the day.

The comments are better than the contest. A “bazaar” of entries and no waiting for a winner!

Kids under six eaten free.

Today’s Special: Freshest “Man”-wiches in town!

No shirt, no shoes, no problem.

Try our chef’s surprise.

Nobody leaves unsatisfied.

Try our pan-fried poodles.

We eat what you are.

Prrdh: That’s “To Serve Man”

Dress is Optional

Come in hungry, leave us happy.

We use only the freshest ingredients.

TODAY’S SPECIAL

ALL YOU, CAN EAT!

This is NOT the contest page! <<

The contest page is not near as fun as these pages… and, it’s a lot more rigid.

You wanna piece of me???

Not sure what should be on the sign, but a place called Au Naturel with pussies in the window might be fun.

”You can’t enter the contest here. Click on the link at the top of the page. Your posts here aren’t considered, but someone might steal your idea

But that (scribbling furiously) would be (‘Morte-deli’ - good one) wrong!

and submit it.” - Wiley

(pencil breaking bleeep bleeep) [ file > save page as > … ]

Mmmmm Pussycat Pastrami

Never mind, Wiley - we know where to enter the contest, but this is a good place to try out our second best lines.

Wow! The competition is awesome! I’m going to have to really think about my entry!

“Warning, not appropriate for children under 18”

We serve your pet foods.