Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for March 21, 2023

Yeah. I reformed and quit murdering plants a long time ago. Poor plants.

Once in a while, mine survive, but just barely.

It’s a good thing I don’t have to be a hunter to feed myself. I don’t even know where sandwiches live!

And then there’s magic markers.

Plant a banana tree. They live forever and are virtually indestructible and hard to kill once they’ve rooted themselves. You just gotta remember to spray for spiders before picking bananas off it because you will get bit by a spider that has lethal venom if you don’t.

looks like a huge cat litter tray to me

Here’s a link to a website called “10 Ways to Care for Your Garden: How to Keep Plants Alive” …. https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-keep-plants-alive

Yeah, that looks about right for me. That’s why hubby does the garden—he doesn’t have The Grim Reaper Black Thumb.

so… it goes from what you planted to what died here. :D

May they rest in peas.

That’s my gardening.

I planted some flowers that did really well for a year. Then they became deer food.

They show us what the deer find tasty!

Lettuce, turnip and pea.

My record with plants was so dismal, I was forced to sign a pledge by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Plants.

By contrast, all the other women in my family had fantastic gardens, mostly rose gardens, plus a vegetable garden in the back. My sister was a Master Gardener.

Also known as a ‘brown thumb’ – I have one or 2 of those. lol

Keep track of which one results in the most fertile compost patch in the soil.

My wife’s experiments…

YESSSSS! Someone who understands! Thank you, Mr Parisi. I have a black thumb, inherited from my mother. She even killed a plastic plant once!

Phlowering Phicus Plasticus

IT WASN’T MY FAULT! We’ve lived in this house for decades and I only tried once. I saw some Marionberry seedlings while with a friend at a nursery. I bought 6 of them. I pulled the weeds in a swath about 12 feet long where I was going to plant them. I turned the soil where they would be planted and laid down weed guard fabric with holes cut for the plants. I lovingly planted my beautiful little berries. I screwed sets of brackets into three fence posts from which to run the 3 parallel wires on which my berry plants would climb. AND THEY DID! When they started producing berries I was overjoyed! But IMMEDIATELY wasps found and pierced EVERY SINGLE BERRY as they formed. Wasp traps were totally ignored. I got not a single good berry. That was the beginning and the end of my “green thumb”.

Should plant your seeds in something other than gravel.