Close to Home by John McPherson for March 18, 2023

Wonder what would happen if one of the guys try’s to unwrap her.

Bleeb made it!

She has never been opened.

In my idea of heaven, you would no longer need to wear glasses.

If she thought that, she’d be in the other place.

Not with those buck teeth and boney knees.

Okay, this is a little existential… but do we really have to wear hospital gowns in heaven? Isn’t it enough that we get seagull wings!?

Welcome to Heaven, Bleeb! Since you have a little halo, maybe you are not wondering if that package is completely open on the bottom?

Wait till she comes undone….gasp!

If y’all are going to be talking about other folks, you need to be on next thing headed to the HOT South.

Humility is a rare quality.

Thank God, Heaven is not like this!

I sense another SNL Skit coming on.

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/snl-digital-short-d-in-a-box/3505985

Witha a name like “Helen Schmeckle” she needs to have something going on!

What’s she packin’ under all that wrappin’?

Looks like she was sent back

FYI, “schmeckle” literally means "little p*nis”

Pride comes before the fall. :(

And she’s been re-gifted so many times.

Heaven lets in catty gossips and egomaniacs?

OMG, even in heaven they have small-minded bigotted people, who’s heaven is this anyway? So let’s count all the religions and sects that have heavens etc…

It’s all inthe packaging.

Bleep has gone to heaven! :(

Well, okay, then… as it turns out, in Yiddish, “Schmeckle,” is an undeveloped (pre-pubescent) male “member!” Maybe she was just a d ink, when she was alive…?

I’ve always wondered if McPherson’s got his female names from girls he dated. Probably.

Bleeb makes heaven more heavenly.