Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for August 09, 2022

This guy is cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

He should gird his chin-butt loins.

Throwin’ then, punchin’ their 10/40 hair jelly butt’s around. Oily and goon squad like.

Maximum cootie caliber? Cooties are so small that you cannot see them. Why would I be scared of . . Ow! Ow! Ow!

The flying fickled fingers of fate…headed right at your Adam’s apple….first….

Jeez. I think he’s serious.

I was lead to believe by the other boys in my 3rd grade class that cooties was a girl-specific condition.

Fair warning, if a bit bizarre.

Cootie propulsion system of myself is perfected. On the lookout, is where to plant your dimple-less feet.

Armed fingers ? ARm-10s ? There otta be a law …!

Mr. Buttocks Face approves this post

And suddenly, there he was. I’d seen him before. Doctor Buttchin. He just came out of nowhere, out of thin air, really, standing right in front of me. No use hiding anymore, then. I stood up. “You got any juice boxes around here, Doc?” I played to my strengths. I’m just a kid looking for a juice box. Not scoping the room for a clear exit or anything. Oh . . . I just thought that. Now I look like an idiot. But the Doc just stood there, oblivious, and said, “Sorry, no. We’ll have to get you back to Day Care for that. But I imagine you have as many questions as cooties, so let’s have them. Fire away!” And I’m thinking how come you can’t intercept my thoughts, just standing and looking at him. He catches on and says, “Oh! You’re probably expecting me to answer questions you’re thinking! No. That wore off at the same time the invisibility did. They only last for a few minutes, I’m afraid. I have got it up to ten minutes now, but it’s still relatively useless.” Cooties? How old WAS this guy. The cooties hoax was exposed and retired a long time ago. I wasn’t on board for this geriatric juvenile sexism game, but I had to play along for now.

Butt-chin? Is this a precursor or a prerequisite for a butt-head? Is it contagious? Is this the new monkey pox? What happens when a butt-head meets a, uh, how should I say, Richard head? I shudder to think… so many questions… Normally I might say heads are gonna roll, but who wants to clean up that mess? What hazmat team is brave enough? I know I wouldn’t touch that with your ten foot pole.

Superman chin! ;)

I’m trying to think of famous people with cleft chins… apparently, there are a lot more butt-chinners than Kirk Douglas.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/celebrities-you-didnt-know-have-butt-chins

BUTT CHIN DAY is on October 15. At least that’s when the article above was posted. October is a good month and 15 is a good day.

I don’t know when FLYING FLOWER POT DAY is. When is Brass Orchid Day? When is COLTISH1 DAY? And on and on…

That’s pretty Tough Talk, coming from an Interbellum Amateur Sleuth in the best fashionable tradition! Poof! go the two fingers, and “so what” says Mr. Jaw….

Is this a BOZO rerun?