Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for July 15, 2022

on a positive note, they are not underwear items that had been messing around

Spread the news, I got the Chapstick blues.

An old cowpoke came riding into town and pulled up in front of the saloon.

He got off his horse and pulled off his hat and started knocking dust off of his chaps. It was flying everywhere. Then he knocked the dust off of his shirt, and dust was flying everywhere. Then he smacked his hat against the hitching post to knock the dust off of the hat. There was dust flying everywhere!

An old geezer sitting on the porch in front of the saloon asked, “Been on the trail long?”

“Yup. 6 months.”

The cowboy then went around, lifted up his horse’s tail, and gave it a big kiss right there where the road apples come out.

The geezer, astounded, said, “I noticed you kissed your horse on the a$$.”

“Yup. Chapped lips.”

“Does that cure them???”

“Nope. But it sure keeps ya from lickin’ them.”

Stick to it chaps!

I do this with glasses.

On a similar note, we have a box of tissues in every room.

IKR, the Mrs decided she was tired of losing her sunglasses so she got a pair for one car and a pair for the other car and now she has all her sunnies in one car.

You wouldn’t have the problem is you used free range ChickenPoop lip balm. Great stuff. https://ilovechickenpoop.com

Have another big glass of wine – whiner.

Can’t leave it in the car in the summer, it melts.

If that’s the worse thing that happens today, consider it a good day.

And if it’s as warm as Arizona, you car Chapstick is melted into the carpet by now.

Reason why I keep a dozen chapsticks around my home, and have a dozen more still in their packages. Can always find one no matter where I am. Even have a few in my purse for when I’m out.

If it’s in my purse, it doesn’t need to be in the car.

I now have a go-bag for whenever I have to go to the hospital. We don’t have to do anything now, save to pick clothes for discharge.