Peanuts by Charles Schulz for March 11, 2022

no

What’s that got got to do with Lucy?

who says lucy got a pretty face

Pretty homely and pretty likely to stay that way!

Inthat case he better send Sally.

It must be Lucy’s crooked smile and teeny squinty eyes.

Then they should ask the Little Red Haired Girl

In fairness, as readers of Peanuts Begin will know, Lucy was very pretty as a baby/toddler.

That was pretty funny, Lucy!

…. tis too bad I cannot post the ‘barf’ emogee ….

Emphasis on “pretty”.

Then we’ll need another player.

Vomit, puke.

Be glad the Major League Baseball lockout just ended and now the baseball season will start in mid April 2022.

They have umpires? Actually if he is 8 he would still be in the Little League minors with their coach pitching.

The trouble is, umpires can also spot a trouble maker a mile off.

Lucy, if you think you can use your “charm” and “good looks” to seduce the visiting team, you’ve got another thing coming.

The prettiest people do the ugliest things.

Actually, most ballplayers will tell you that umpires have notoriously bad vision.

My stomach hurts clear down to my toes.

How is that going to help?

or a punch in the mouth

What does that have to do with you, Lucy?

“So I ask again, how will you bringing out the lineup help the team?”

It’ll help the team alright. You’ll forefit every game and get plenty of rest.

Alright then, in that case, we’re gonna need a lot more than a scribble face.

Lucy is a vain little fussbudget.

Today, Schulz would get cancelled for being homophobic.