Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for August 18, 2021

I’m allergic to not having a snake.

Allergic is not the correct word to use for her.

She is at least Obsessed – possibly Addicted.

At least she wont die alone.

Hair, hair!

I’m allergic to not having a beer.

I only sneeze when I get ready for work and while I’m there…

I don’t thinks you two can has an aMEOWzing relationship together.

I’m only half-ergic. I.e., low-energy.

Warning, the cats will always win out.

The cats are training the staff.

Well, that was a quick first date.

That’s what they whisper in her ear at night…

Jack Sprat could ea……

We got rid of the kids. The cats were allergic.

I am allergic to cats and even more to not having cats. That’s why I only have 3.

Yep. My second wife, after three years together and no allergy symptoms, tried to convince me she was allergic to my cat. After a doctor told her she had no cat allergy but might be allergic to things my cat brought in, she suggested we try having the cat sleep in another room. I told her I was willing to try that but that I was going to sleep in the room with the cat . Never heard a peep out of her about that scheme again.

#TotallyRelatable

definitely irreconcilable differences

im allergic to not have a dog

There are allergy-free cat breeds. Try them.

Once, when discussing my allergy to cats with my not-yet-wife, she asked what I’d do if she had a cat.

“Well,” I told her, “then you’d be out of business.”

She took it with good humor. Almost four decades later, this is still a catch-phrase that comes up on occasion in our everyday banter.

Said every middle age single gal in the world.