Frazz by Jef Mallett for March 30, 2021

Do it every time!!

Yeah that’s the old joke about jumping off a building too.

As an adult, I once rode my bike into a tall curb at maybe 12 mph or so. Ended up without stitches but still needed medical care for the pulled muscles. I think I’d rather have had stitches.

Suddenly, you’re going nowhere—except to the hospital. This is the way the ride ends, yes, with a bang…and with a whimper!

I was practicing for a roller blade marathon in St. Louis, rolling down a steep hill and driving hard to go faster, when I caught a rock under my wheels. I bit the curb, knocked out 5 teeth and fractured 9 more.

Those sudden stops get you every time.

No one EVER got hurt falling… it’s that sudden stop at the end that does the damage.

Chalk it up to experience, Kid. Luckily you survived this one but there’s more coming.

Hey kid, you feeling a little carsick? How many Frazzes are there?

Sliced open a finger once and was looking forward to my only chance ever for stitches — a sort of “badge of honor,” you know — but two pieces of butterfly tape sealed it shut and I can barely see the scar. Darn.

Once I dropped a casserole dish in the sink, shattered it, and took a sharp piece of flying porcelain to the chin. (Damn lucky it wasn’t my EYE!) Also lucky that there was a plastic surgeon on call at the ER that day…six of the tiniest stitches you ever saw, and today the scar is completely invisible. Got a few gruesome ones on my feet, though, from stepping on glass as a kid. The price of being a bare-footer!

It’s not the fall, it’s the landing.

Yeah, it’s always that sudden stop at the end that does it.

I remember riding my 3-speed bike at top speed and the front fork collapsed. I got out of school for x-rays.

That’s how physics works.