This time of the year we Pluggers in the Phoenix, AZ metro area have a TON OF FUN needling our friends and family in the midwest and back east about this “snow” business.;-D
Diary of a southern man who moved to New EnglandDecember 8 – 6:00 PM started to snow.The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.I love snow!December 9We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.What a fantastic sight!Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had!Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.What a perfect life!December 12The sun has melted all our lovely snow.Such a disappointment!My neighbor tells me not to worry- we’ll definitely have a white Christmas.No snow on Christmas would be awful!Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow againI don’t think that’s possible.Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor.December 14Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.The temperature dropped to -20.The cold makes everything sparkle so.The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.This is the life!The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way.I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so.December 1520 inches forecast.Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer.Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels.Stocked the freezer.The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.I think that’s silly.We aren’t in Alaska, after all.
December 16Ice storm this morning.Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.Hurt like hell.The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17Still way below freezing.Roads are too icy to go anywhere.Electricity was off for 5 hours.I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her.God I hate it when she’s right.I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20Electricity’s back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.More shoveling!Took all day.The damn snowplow came by twice.Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey.I think they’re lying.Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out.Might have another shipment in March.I think they’re lying.Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.I think he’s lying.
December 22Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it’s so cold, it probably won’t melt till August.Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23Only 2 inches of snow today And it warmed up to 0.The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.What is she, nuts?!!Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago?She says she did but I think she’s lying.
December 25Merry freaking Christmas!20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.God, I hate the snow!Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.The wife says I have a bad attitude.I think she’s an idiot.If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26Still snowed in.Why the hell did I ever move here?It was all HER idea.She’s really getting on my nerves.
December 27Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28Warmed up to above -20.Still snowed in.The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 2910 more inches.Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30Roof caved in.I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.The wife went home to her mother.Nine more inches predicted.
December 31I set fire to what’s left of the house.No more shoveling.
January 8Feel so good.I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.Why am I tied to the bed?
Shoveling snow improves health when done properly; snow blower don’t improve health nor air quality. When an able-bodied person opts for snow blowers when a good does of healthy shoveling was a real option, it’s like using a crutch or a walker when you don’t have a lower body injury.
Baarorso about 3 years ago
This time of the year we Pluggers in the Phoenix, AZ metro area have a TON OF FUN needling our friends and family in the midwest and back east about this “snow” business.;-D
Templo S.U.D. about 3 years ago
a few days’ snowfall coming in Clark County, Washington (might have to shovel and/or salt the sidewalks and parking lot at my employed grocery store)
Farside99 about 3 years ago
What’s a snow storm?
sergioandrade Premium Member about 3 years ago
Currenty Eastern New Jersey, 2:30AM, third snowfall this month.
harkherp about 3 years ago
He also enjoys walking around in women’s underwear!
Breadboard about 3 years ago
Nothing like getting a natural workout ! No gym needed :-)
ebbetsjim about 3 years ago
Lots of land but not much wonder in shoveling.
ctolson about 3 years ago
That’s why I have a snow blower. When I do the neighbor’s sidewalk, my wife accuses me of playing, to which I rely, “you’re right”.
david_42 about 3 years ago
Second winter is on its way, looks like three days of it.
Diane Lee Premium Member about 3 years ago
Diary of a southern man who moved to New EnglandDecember 8 – 6:00 PM started to snow.The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.I love snow!December 9We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.What a fantastic sight!Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had!Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.What a perfect life!December 12The sun has melted all our lovely snow.Such a disappointment!My neighbor tells me not to worry- we’ll definitely have a white Christmas.No snow on Christmas would be awful!Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow againI don’t think that’s possible.Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor.December 14Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.The temperature dropped to -20.The cold makes everything sparkle so.The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.This is the life!The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way.I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so.December 1520 inches forecast.Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer.Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels.Stocked the freezer.The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.I think that’s silly.We aren’t in Alaska, after all.
Diane Lee Premium Member about 3 years ago
December 16Ice storm this morning.Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.Hurt like hell.The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17Still way below freezing.Roads are too icy to go anywhere.Electricity was off for 5 hours.I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her.God I hate it when she’s right.I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20Electricity’s back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.More shoveling!Took all day.The damn snowplow came by twice.Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey.I think they’re lying.Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out.Might have another shipment in March.I think they’re lying.Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.I think he’s lying.
December 22Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it’s so cold, it probably won’t melt till August.Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23Only 2 inches of snow today And it warmed up to 0.The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.What is she, nuts?!!Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago?She says she did but I think she’s lying.
Diane Lee Premium Member about 3 years ago
December 25Merry freaking Christmas!20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.God, I hate the snow!Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.The wife says I have a bad attitude.I think she’s an idiot.If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26Still snowed in.Why the hell did I ever move here?It was all HER idea.She’s really getting on my nerves.
December 27Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28Warmed up to above -20.Still snowed in.The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 2910 more inches.Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30Roof caved in.I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.The wife went home to her mother.Nine more inches predicted.
December 31I set fire to what’s left of the house.No more shoveling.
January 8Feel so good.I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.Why am I tied to the bed?
I'll fly away about 3 years ago
In DuBois, PA, so true, especially if you don’t own a snow blower.
jr1234 about 3 years ago
OMG OMG 5 dead, many injured in TX , ICE
https://www.dallasnews.com/news/weather/2021/02/11/winter-weather-causes-hazardous-conditions-on-north-texas-roads/
semis and cars, one or two on top of each other!!
6th Billiard Ball Student about 3 years ago
Shoveling snow improves health when done properly; snow blower don’t improve health nor air quality. When an able-bodied person opts for snow blowers when a good does of healthy shoveling was a real option, it’s like using a crutch or a walker when you don’t have a lower body injury.
Caldonia about 3 years ago
He really ought to pay a neighborhood kid a few bucks to do that. He could slip and break his fool butt. Dang, but he’s big. He hasn’t got a chance.