Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for October 29, 2020

Now that’s scary.

I hate fitted sheets.

everyone knows you can’t fold fitted sheets…

Before TRYING to fold it, look inside it for all of your missing socks.

We had a house full of company once: my wife’s two sisters and all of their children – 5 girls and one boy – I convince my nephew that he had to leave to toilet seat up. It was our subtle rebellion against the tide of estrogen against which we were swimming.

One day before the invasion, we are driving in the car, and I could see that my wife was counting off something on her fingers. I asked her, “What are you doing?” She replied, “counting sheets.” I asked, “Are we planning on hosting a Klan convention?”

My wife flew up to NJ to meet up with one of the sisters, and the other sister came in with her brood from overseas. The three women and assorted offspring rented a van and drove down. They did the reverse going home.

While my wife was gone for the return trip. I stripped the beds and did all the laundry. I folded everything except the fitted sheets. My wife later told me that folding fitted sheets is a secret passed down from mothers to daughters for generations and that anyone with a Y chromosome is forbidden to know it.

Her mom must have taught her some other tricks too. She can fold T-shirts and underwear by “flapping it” in the air. I need a flat surface and it still doesn’t come out as good as when she does it.

They’re folded the way I fold em…it is what it is…

♫ You got to know when to hold ’em, ♪

♪ know when to fold ’em ♪

♫ know when to stuff ’em in the closet and just walk away ♪

Stuff into a drawer until needed.

It’s always a priority to fold sheets when I visit my Mom.

What’s to fold? I just put it back on the bed.

Hey ghost! Wanna play poker?

Even worse is a drunk ghost. Three sheets to the wind…

Is he having some kind of fit?