Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for October 21, 2020

Rip you’re something else. No matter where you are there are always hot women around.

So A bubble head alien leaves you in the middle of nowhere, and you find a cheerleader? There’s either something very wrong with your life, or something very right. I can’t decide.

This has got to be more of that alien’s mind tricks. Not falling for it.

Alien, Coma, Hallucinations….but not real, Wake up Rip!

Just to all the cyberpervs in the audience…I notice no one here seems to consider the possibility that la femme is underage.

(More importantly, I do not recall a shovel attachment on a Swiss army knife – not even on the nautical models – or most conventional pocket-sized multitools. Is it possible she has mixed up one of the openers – either bottle or can? I would not put it past most inexperienced users, but then I’m an aficionado who turned a key clip into a Leatherman by including blades and bits from three different knives – including a fork, a spoon, and a few foam washers I cut myself.)

Space Cobra is trying it as a blonde. Knock boots with blondie, and when Space Cobra says “Surprise!”

Just say, “Ka-Knew it all along”

Ka-BURL!

The “U” stands for “Unreal”?

Oh dear, Rip has stumbled onto the set of a 90’s slasher movie.

KA-CHEERLEADER!

I bet Burl will soon get a taste of Rip’s giggling knuckles!

Have mercy… He’s now in a teenage horror film brought to us by Lifetime.