I have over 300 .sigs in a database that I choose at will. One of them is “Think like a cation: stay positive!”(Another: Two atoms are walking down the street, when one stops and exclaims, “I think I just lost an electron!”His friend replies, “Are you sure?”“Yes: I’m positive!")
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He’s 0K now.
Q: Why can you never trust atoms? A: They make up everything!
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
Q: What element is a girl’s future best friend? A: Carbon.
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems? A: They have all the solutions.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
Sorry but I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
oldpine52 about 4 years ago
And always keep your ion the future.
danketaz Premium Member about 4 years ago
Just not on the medical test .
gammaguy about 4 years ago
I thought “Be Positive” was a blood type.
cubswin2016 about 4 years ago
Make like an atom and split.
saltylife16 about 4 years ago
But beware, there is always going to be Mr. Negative in the room to counter. Example is …. he is… well he will be there. Sorry
Steverino Premium Member about 4 years ago
A neutron goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender gives him the beer, and the neurton asks “how much”. The bartender says “for you, no charge”.
P51Strega about 4 years ago
Ion-ly came here for a laugh.
khjalmarj about 4 years ago
I have over 300 .sigs in a database that I choose at will. One of them is “Think like a cation: stay positive!”(Another: Two atoms are walking down the street, when one stops and exclaims, “I think I just lost an electron!”His friend replies, “Are you sure?”“Yes: I’m positive!")
prabbit237 about 4 years ago
The name’s Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He’s 0K now.
Q: Why can you never trust atoms? A: They make up everything!
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
Q: What element is a girl’s future best friend? A: Carbon.
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems? A: They have all the solutions.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
Sorry but I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
amxchester about 4 years ago
“You got to accentuate the positive….”
JudyAz about 4 years ago
You can always tell if a person has a chemistry background by how they pronounce “unionized”
ChessPirate about 4 years ago
Frankly, Ernest, that’s a good message… ⚛️
CalLadyQED about 4 years ago
Unless you’re being tested for a virus. Then you do NOT want to be positive.
StephenRice about 4 years ago
Ernest is speaking ionically, of course.
the lost wizard about 4 years ago
Professor Proton.