Parrot jokes: A guy is in a pet store and sees a parrot. The owner tells him he speaks seven languages. The guy buys it and gives it to his mom as a present. A few days later he calls and says “Did you like the bird I gave you?” and she says “It was delicious!” The guy yells “MA! That bird spoke seven languages! How could you eat him?” and she says “Well, why didn’t he say anything when I put him in the oven?”
#2: A woman buys a parrot and the store owner warns her that the parrot says a lot of bad words. One day, she’s had it, and when he swears again, she grabs him and sticks him in the freezer. After a few minutes, she takes him out. The parrot says “Please forgive my coarse language madam. I assure you it won;t happen again. If I may ask, what did the chicken do?!”
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
‘What do they say?’ the priest inquired.
They say, “Hi, we’re hookers, do you want to have some fun?”
That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. “You know,” he said, “I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying… that phrase… In no time.”
“Thank you,” the woman responded, “this may very well be the solution.”
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers, do you want to have some fun?”
There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,“Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!”
“She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.” Mark Twain
allen@home about 4 years ago
Well no wonder why it’s free. Who would want that bird in their house.
The Reader Premium Member about 4 years ago
Just three easy payments Broomie!
jagedlo about 4 years ago
I feel sorry for the other pets, they have to listen to this all day!
Nighthawks Premium Member about 4 years ago
Zebrastripes about 4 years ago
Forget it BROOMY! You have no patience!
Aladar30 Premium Member about 4 years ago
Poor unlucky bird.
Michael G. about 4 years ago
I wonder how well it will go with gravy and biscuits?
demnuts1 about 4 years ago
I have a 3 year old grandson that like to sing the commercials, talk about too much tv and you tube
tcayer about 4 years ago
Parrot jokes: A guy is in a pet store and sees a parrot. The owner tells him he speaks seven languages. The guy buys it and gives it to his mom as a present. A few days later he calls and says “Did you like the bird I gave you?” and she says “It was delicious!” The guy yells “MA! That bird spoke seven languages! How could you eat him?” and she says “Well, why didn’t he say anything when I put him in the oven?”
#2: A woman buys a parrot and the store owner warns her that the parrot says a lot of bad words. One day, she’s had it, and when he swears again, she grabs him and sticks him in the freezer. After a few minutes, she takes him out. The parrot says “Please forgive my coarse language madam. I assure you it won;t happen again. If I may ask, what did the chicken do?!”
carlzr about 4 years ago
“Wait there’s more.” was also Steve Jobs’ favorite line when he presented his new products to the press.
cuzinron47 about 4 years ago
Forget it Broomie, you’ve already got a bird that drives you crazy.
cuzinron47 about 4 years ago
Oh and Shop keeper, if you keep tellin’ people that you’re gonna be stuck with that bird til it croaks or you commit avianocide.
prabbit237 about 4 years ago
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
‘What do they say?’ the priest inquired.
They say, “Hi, we’re hookers, do you want to have some fun?”
That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. “You know,” he said, “I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying… that phrase… In no time.”
“Thank you,” the woman responded, “this may very well be the solution.”
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers, do you want to have some fun?”
There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,“Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!”
Yakety Sax about 4 years ago
“She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.” Mark Twain
Sisyphos about 4 years ago
Free with every free parrot: 100 classic TV commercials! Ideal for every student of Popular Culture!