Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for April 04, 2020

…for about 50 or 60 years….

Isn’t that a picture of Mr. Phonebone?

S-o-o-o- they’re ordering twin beds?

I’ll talk to you later after you get over that cough…

My friend, the divorce lawyer, says that – along with the Covid-19 baby boom – there will be a corresponding divorce boom. He predicts that based on the number of calls he’s gotten in the last week.

I made a raid on a couple local stores yesterday. People are paying attention and observing. It’s encouraging.

In both stores there was a plexiglass partition between the cashier and the customer. I pointed out, “I like the sneeze guard; I guess you now know what it feels like to be a salad bar.”

She’s not ready for the extendable back scratcher.

this is a phrase that my ex-girlfriends would like to have used…

Instead of handing out masks, just hand out 6’ poles. The poles are reusable.

Calling it “social distancing” is so confusing. I’m always socially distant. It’s the physical that’s relevant now.

I wince every time I hear the phrase “social distancing”. It is not social distancing, it is physical distancing.