Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 19, 2019

You allThru with the Bull Sheet and ready to play then.

L[oo k at you..

Ain’t you cool.

An IKEA spokesman, when reached for comment about a recent Frog Applause™ comic strip, issued the following statement:

♥ʏᴇs ᴡᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ♥

We demand the right to peaceful assembly in the name of our founder, Mr Allen Key.

It was time for the Fat Man to be ended. First, I needed to do some research. I flat-packed merry old elf, ordained saint and magical judgmental trickster and it ended up looking a lot like an elemental demon. So I went to see Baba O’Yagga. Yeah. Cheesy. Her professional name. But the only expert on the natural world beyond current science available to me. Her real name was Violet. She was a leech. The whole Baba O’Yagga thing was her scam. Not that she wasn’t good. She could read palms and tea leaves and stuff. And she could use crystals to heal people well enough. But the readings and crystals were just props. She had nearly died as a child. Got physically well but never really recovered entirely. She was stuck wearing her body like a too small hat. Most of her was outside of it. And she would feed off of you. Being around her too much was tiring, if pleasant enough and harmless. At least, I’m pretty sure she’s harmless. I never pushed her far enough to find out.

I didn’t have to re-check my bucket list to know that wasn’t on it.

Was there a sudden shortage of Norwegian Wood?

Ikea. Baltic birch and Norsemen. Furniture for college kids and divorced men. (Thanks, Jonathan.)

Hey! Why do I have screws left over? Gasp!

The old John Bobbitt doll. Some assembly required.

Are you bragging or complaining?

The colorful background looks exactly like an IKEA dresser I once assembled in my distant past …!

‘Twas the night before FA’s anniversary, and all through the land,

All the residents were twitching with feelings so gland …!

Please hear my plea!

(I have all the same sized hex-key tools I could ever need.I’m including one in every holiday gift box. Even the glassware.)

No more.

Because I tink I’m turning Japanese instructional . turning clockwise is loosening.

No say it tant true…

That’s a Good Thing. Am I right?

I kea. You kea. He, she, or it keas. We all kea!

I don’t kea anymore. [Smiles broadly, inserting tongue A into cheek B….]

Lessons are okay, but morning assembly takes ages.

Happy Thirteenth Anniversary on December 20 2019.

I love ❤ figgy pudding and Frog Applause. .. ✔ my ❤

Happy happy happy Frog Applause anniversary 12/20

Screw that.