Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for December 27, 2019

Every box in the multiplication table contains the total number of boxes in a rectangle with the box in question, and the 1X1 box in opposite corners. There, now you’ve practically memorized all of it.

1. Ultimately, ahhhhhh.

2. That said Marigold. No. That way leads to madness, even a road to an Infinite Crisis with a strawman of a comic book fanboy going crazier.

3. What if Phoebe’s gift was the published versions of Heavenly Nostril or any related merchandise?

Would Marigold be able to handle the fact that she’s a fictional character? Would she be jealous of herself?

Have I blown anyone’s mind now?

If Marigold can be jealous, imagine if Phoebe got like a Nintendo switch or something.

Thank goodness Mari stops to think… sometimes, at least.

I used to wonder what friendship could be…

Is Marigold becoming nostalgic? Is that even possible for a unicorn?

Do they still make kids memorize that stuff? Most kids I see these days barely know how to add.

I think about that often… how it’s hard to believe she would find anything else interesting when Marigold was around… I have a horse, and it’s been over 13 years, and I still find him to be the most interesting thing in the world, and that’s without him even being a unicorn (except in the perfect horse sense of the word). Though I suppose these two spend more hours per day together on the average day, and she is a kid, and kids are prone to easier distraction. I guess I’m saying, it’s possible to still feel the same exact sense of wonder, awe and love as the very first day with those of the equine variety—an experience that is limited strictly to that classification of animals.

The multiplication table was hard. It made my head hurt.

. . . Or was that the kitchen table?

Marigold, I can, without reservation or let, guarantee that, however long we might know each other, I would never fail to look at you with awe, wonder, and delight.

Who the heck cares about multiplication tables?

The 7s and 8s were the hardest to learn.

If Phoebe lost her entire memory, she’d be like a newborn and wouldn’t know there was anything special about a unicorn.

Cast the Politician Spell on her; then she’ll have a selective memory…